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Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Four poems in two days! It may not sound like much, but I'm forcing myself to write them. I won't be sharing the ones from last night. I'm doing that thing only a Christian writer can do: wonder if and when he should repent for writing what he really thinks. The first stanza of the longest poem, "Mara," I don't entirely mean. I just knew I was in a mood, and I wanted to let it be. Lord, you know I love you. It may well be you have granted more freedom to your creatures than most of us are ready to accept, and that might mean somebody is spiritualizing their own selfishness, or whatever it is. [One of your present trials is causing the death of your Calvinism.--ed.] So it would seem. [Which one?--ed.] Both? Anyway, I'm really into haikus right now. I like them because they give me some structure to go with my meandering, hippie free-verse style. [This just means your poetry sucks.--ed.] I know. But it's mine. Have you forgotten "Fruit"? [That sucks, too.--ed.] Sheesh, tough room. [And another thing: Why do you call everything you don't like "hippie"?--ed.] I came of age personally and politically in a time when the prevailing wisdom on all things personal and political was leftist, or at least leftish. Worse still, no one dared to question it. No one doubted, no one hedged. Even worse than this, it wasn't even the stupid, naive, aspirational kind; it was the self-loathing, "I hate being American, I feel guilty not starving" kind. When I came to the realization that I didn't believe George W. Bush got his jollies from dumping sludge in the Rio Grande, that ordinarily the food companies/drug companies/car companies, etc. were not trying to kill me, and that some things and people are bad with no qualifications & no others to blame, I understood that perhaps politics was more complicated than The Compassionate vs. The Selfish, and thus, I was a conservative, maybe even for the sheer fact that noone important wanted to make the case. I know precious little about economics, really, but I found that there seemed to be a small band of people arguing really contrarian things about social policy, money, and government, and after they concluded, they were denounced (if they were heard at all) as evil, backward, racist mother-haters, at best. [You went to college, didn't you?--ed.] I love likable contrarians, anyway, and a well-adjusted conservative of some type is that if nothing else. Still, I admire greatly those passionate people who can't wear my label(s) of choice because of some moral imperative the rest of us may be missing (peace advocates, anti-death penalty activists). I found a few that weren't unpricipled poseurs or Stalinists, and thus, I have a few views now (Middle East, death penalty, abortion, war) which are misnamed "liberal" but certainly aren't 'conservative' in the current sense. I did a 180 on that war thing; I believed (and still do) that American leaders thought they had done the right thing, but had failed to see how high the cost was, and that American self-image couldn't paper it over or give it success. Combine that with the realization that American foreign policy has never had a coherent set of principles governing when we will (or had) use(d) force. Only after-the-fact rationalizations or disavowals when expedient. I can't even say I've been consistent. But someone should start. [You're not answering my question.--ed.] Ah, yes, "hippie." "Hippie"=useful idiot, or, on the good side, "Person holding a minority position within some wider group while unfairly harrassed, whose main motivation is Love (even if they are wrong). Thus, "FV hippies," "Austrian economist hippies," and the like. Contrasted with drug-addled hippies, pro-Che hippies, and pro-Black Panther hippies (same thing). [What about Jesus?--ed.] Well, that started with the Wild Thing At That Weird Place, but in college, we sure did a lot of talking about God, for being supposed post-Christian secularists. And frankly, Christianity* was the only religion I heard about that didn't make me go, "That's ^%$^{[! stupid!" No offense. Besides, just read the New Testament. If you don't want to A) be Jesus, or B) at least hang out with his friends (and be one) you are nuts. Sorry. If perchance you doubt the authenticity/veracity of it, fair enough, but you're not winning that one. I read somewhere it was the most well-attested ancient document on Earth. It's cool, though. I know lots of nuts people, and I love them dearly. By the way, "I don't believe in organized religion" roughly translates to, "I want to wander aimlessly through the basement of my mind with the lights off," and that's only fun for a short time. Or maybe you mean "I don't want to be told what to do" which is perfectly fine, until you don't know what to do. Personally, I began to wonder, "What kind of God would listen to my sorry [expletive]?" I'm going to call this the Kushner Singularity. Upon approaching this mental conundrum that looks and sounds like a space-time disturbance, one realizes that God cannot be omni-all the good stuff, and ratify everything I would do anyway. Better find out what He wants, then, eh? My thoughts.
[Eminently Necessary Definition--*Christianity: Apostles,' Nicene, and Chalcedonian Creeds/Definitions at a minimum, minor variations occasioned by the Protestants notwithstanding, or disqualifying, neccesarily. Denying the divinity of Christ, or his humanity at the Incarnation, is an automatic, epic, fail. I'm sure you are a nice fellow (or you might be at least) but you are not a Christian if you do. Nice suit, though.]

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