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Monday, June 28, 2010

5 Thoughts For The Day

5. Scott Rolen is having a monster baseball season at the age of 35. He's always been one of my favorite players, and would be a Hall of Famer if not for injuries.

4. Day 1 of the "new plan." No, this does not involve women.

3. I have made it through the day without listening to Barry Manilow. [Yeah, but "Mandy" was playing in your head.--ed.]

2. I didn't even know this song until last year, and I love it. Heard it on imeem.com. (Curse you, Myspace!) He's earned a hearing beyond his famous signature song. Warning to Tim: I will be finding one of his abums from the '90s or '00s and giving it a listen to write a review. Yes, I've heard the original. It's too slow to make the intriguing lyrics jump out at you. But congrats for writing a great song, dudes.

1. I heard yelling out my door, and then a doorbell ring with a knock. But I didn't get there fast enough. Hope they weren't selling something.

[Actually Germane Side-Rant: I can't believe that remake in #2 only hit #22 on the charts. Maybe there's three types of hit songs: 1) "We're going to remember and love this one forever." 2) "Wow, this song is irritating but memorable, and we're going to share it together." 3) "Who the jimmy are the people who like this horrible song?" Maybe tucked in the mid-twenties are all the songs people would really like if they weren't so ADHD about things. Furthermore, it's probably catchy, but not overly so, so if you heard it 10 years later, you wouldn't want to harm yourself or others at the first note. My theory, anyway. Tangent Within The Rant: "My Heart Will Go On" is a song I always will utterly hate that still is, admittedly, performed vocally rather well. There are 3 main problems with this song: 1) It is the theme to perhaps the most overrated film of all time; 2) the lyrics make no sense; 3) you have to dose yourself with Celine, or you will be prone to stab yourself in the eye with sharp objects, but it was EVERYWHERE. Alright, I have to call out one of my own on this one also: "Hero" by Mariah Carey is rank Gnostic heresy. Look, I'm definitely an "MC" fan, muted only slightly by her descent into, well, porn, since 1995. But I gotta call it like I see it. [Did you notice that Walter Afanasieff is involved with both songs you hate?--ed.] Yes. I feel the same about Wally's songwriting as I do Diane Warren's: ambiguous. And I mean, I think I have some sappy song "street cred," so it isn't that. Maybe I have no idea what I'm saying.]

Sunday, June 27, 2010

5 Reactions to the World Cup

5. I will believe until my last breath that FIFA was actively trying to prevent US advancement past the group stage.

4. The rules governing the issuance of cards should be revised. No one should miss a match while never having been dismissed from a match (especially as bad as the officiating has been).

3. Soccer--or football, if you like--is truly a beautiful game, and I don't understand why it isn't more popular here. Give me a rooting interest, and I'm in.

2. I respectfully disagree with Mr. Darke that every side would delay a match up 2-1 in extra time. Ghana's behavior was appalling, and should have merited a team yellow card.

1. #3 aside, I don't care about the tournament now. I may watch the final, but no more. And I hope Ghana loses 12-0.

Entirely Unrelated Side-Rant: I may have to charitably punch Barry Manilow right in the face. YouTube is great, because you can explore tons of songs you hadn't heard. I knew Mr. Manilow sang "Mandy" and "Copacabana," and I recall him performing "I'd Really Love To See You Tonight" on VH1; I think he had said he wrote it. So I listened to "Ships" and "Weekend In New England" and especially "Looks Like We Made It" and thought, "Geez, this guy's good." But even I know it's uncool to like Barry Manilow (or something). [What are you, a 65-year-old Jewish woman?--ed.] So thanks, Barry, for making me feel even less cool. With apologies for their misuse of God's Name, this illustrates my last couple of days. [You like The Carpenters, for pete's sake! Your chance at manliness died a long time ago.--ed.] Hey, man, I think the only truly unmanly thing is to lie about what you think or feel for the sake of expediency, fear, etc. It does chagrin me (proper use?) that love songs are only relatable half the time because we are a bunch of fornicating perverts. Anyway, my two cents.