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Thursday, October 06, 2011

So there I was, surveying YouTube like always, (I started with my favorites, which means Buble first) when I had to click on "Motownphilly". If you can't groove to that, there's no saving you. When I was a teenager, Boyz II Men was it. IT. Because it has a beat, and these kats called it "hip-hop doo-wop" (besides their indebtedness to so-called "New Jack swing") we might have to blame them for the horrid fusion now called 'hip-hop'. On the other hand, while parents and pastors got a little jumpy at their sexy songs, you could always count on Boyz II Men to generally sonically make the world a better place. I love them to this day. Darn hard to dislike this one. I smell bachelor-party video montage! [You're not even close to getting married.--ed.] Look dude, I'm like a woman; I've thought about this a lot. Anyway, I was almost sucked into a largely Babyface-penned vortex of Awesome for three hours, when it showed me an advertisement for a Melanie Fiona video. The first time I heard Melanie, it was on those satellite channels, and it was one of those times where you think a vulgarity out of sheer awe. Later, our friends at AT&T gave us their "Music Choice" channels, which show you a picture of said artist, and all I have to say is...Hey Melanie, I bet you're a churchgoing sort, or at least I hope so. If you don't happen to be in communion with the bishop of Rome, we'll work on that. [Hey, aren't you in serious like with that one friend of yours? She's white.--ed.] Yes. But who knows how that will go? And that's just how awesome she is, because she can cancel out the special advantage that God's special creatures from Africa have in terms of attraction with yours truly! [You scare me sometimes.--ed.] Yo, I may be an unwitting defender of white privilege, like Dr. Bradley might say. I might have a lot to learn. But I know 2 things for certain: Jesus loves every person, even unto death, and black women are beautiful. Since Rissi is married, and Brandy is sketchy, I need a new Black Celebrity Highly Unlikely (but remotely possible) Crush!

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