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Thursday, December 08, 2011

Day 9. In other news, "Hey Jason, what do you do to preserve your chastity?" I'm glad you asked. I pray to Mary. A lot. [Pagan.--ed.] Sue me. It beats, 'Remember you're already forgiven and victorious,' whatever that means.

Wednesday, December 07, 2011

Sadness. Anger. Rinse, repeat. So it has been for about a week. But never had the words of the Our Father held so much meaning: "forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us." I have to let the anger go. We'll certainly have to talk about it someday. Maybe not today. But if I knew I was dying tomorrow or Christ was returning, I'd call. I don't care what they said. They're lucky I haven't done it anyway. Perhaps that's defiant. But I don't take friendship lightly. I don't break it or allow it to be broken without a fight. In this case, especially because of Christ. Aren't we supposed to live each day as though it were the last? I can't do that if I nurture this anger. I wonder what it is, then?
I took some advice as a personal attack; I got angry. I replied immediately, always a bad idea. The way I understood the words fed some insecurities of mine. It made it sound as though I was forgetting lots of good things. And maybe I was.
I really can't bear this for 50 years, though.

Monday, December 05, 2011

Last month, we were discussing the Parable of the Prodigal Son, when my new teacher said that a refusal to reconcile is a way of saying, 'I can live my life just fine without you.' For the record, I could never say it. How blessed we are that God never says it, though I suppose it's technically true. Lord Jesus, preserve my life! I offer you these tears and sufferings for the relief of those in pain.

Sunday, December 04, 2011

It's definitely time for this again. Read carefully and slowly, friends. Thank you again, Keith Mathison, for writing such a beautifully horrid book! I never would have emerged from my schismatic tendencies without you. Every Catholic apologist on Earth should read and own the book.