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Saturday, August 23, 2014

Probably Doing It Wrong

I have practiced Eucharistic Adoration since about 3 months before I was received into the Catholic Church. I wasn't even really sure what I believed about transubstantiation and all that, but let's say, with no disrespect intended, that I'd make the worst Baptist or Zwinglian ever.

But there I was, with Confirmation Sponsor Guy, daring Jesus to tell me something. That's the great thing about Jesus: There's only one Jesus. You either know Him, or you don't. If you knock, He answers.

I asked Jesus a question. It was more like a worry or a fear. In truth, it was several times later. All I knew after that first time was that I had to come back. I described it as "falling into eternity." I lose all sense of time. Time goes fast; it goes slow; it's just different. In short, I had evidence that the Catholic Church wasn't crazy, alongside the historical and theological.

I asked, and He answered, saying, "Seek ye first the Kingdom, and all these things will be added unto you." I was humorously annoyed, of course. "Should have known you were gonna say that. Thanks a bunch." Actually, it's 3 years later, and He hasn't answered my question. The best part is, I don't care. Maybe that was the point.

Here I was tonight, all this time later, in the Lord's Eucharistic presence, and I'm pretty sure I've not improved at this whole adoring thing. Where was my mind? I have no idea. It wasn't even an entire Holy Hour. I told a seminarian maybe a year ago that maybe the Lord lets us grow old to practice sitting in His presence without thinking about bacon, women, or Greg Maddux's cut fastball.

Lord, if you don't mind, I'll come back again.

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