Skip to main content
5 Things Not To Do When Near "That One Girl"

5. Freak out.

4. Hum anything resembling a wedding march.

3. Mention sports (unless she loves it).

2. Lament the fact that she said 2 words.

1. Contact her. Play it cool, friend.

P.S. Freak Out Session: BUT I CAN'T TAKE THIS! That was the worst thing I have ever seen. I am doomed. This is not funny. Then, she peaced out like she was Barack Obama at CPAC, dude. I am a creeper. Yes, I want to e-mail her again. Oh, fine, I was looking forward to seeing her all week. Yes, it was overhyped. But how often do you forget about all the other girls in your world? At this point, I think I could be surrounded by all the women from the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue and assured that they were all Christians, and I'd be like, "Yeah, but..." That can't be good. I want to jump in a freezing cold lake or something. Sheesh. I've gone mad. Plain flat-out nuts. I might even eat an onion. Alright, that's a bridge too far. I gotta sleep this one off.

Comments

Timothy R. Butler said…
Hey onions are good!

Hmm... my friend, this is not good, this is not good at all.
7:05 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hilarious Com-Box Quote of The Day: "I was caught immediately because it is the Acts of the Apostles, not the Acts of the Holy Spirit Acting Erratically."--Donald Todd, reacting to the inartful opposition of the Holy Spirit and the Magisterium. Mark Galli, an editor at Christianity Today, had suggested that today's "confusion" in evangelicalism replicates a confusion on the day of Pentecost. Mr. Todd commented after this reply , and the original article is here. My thoughts: By what means was this Church-less "consensus" formed? If the Council did not possess the authority to adjudicate such questions, who does? If the Council Fathers did not intend to be the arbiters, why do they say that they do? At the risk of being rude, I would define evangelicalism as, "Whatever I want or need to believe at any particular time." Ecclesial authority to settle a particular question is a step forward, but only as long as, "God alone is Lord of the con
17 comments
Read more

A Friend I Once Had, And The Dogmatic Principle

 I once had a friend, a dear friend, who helped me with personal care needs in college. Reformed Presbyterian to the core. When I was a Reformed Presbyterian, I visited their church many times. We were close. I still consider his siblings my friends. (And siblings in the Lord.) Nevertheless, when I began to consider the claims of the Catholic Church to be the Church Christ founded, he took me out to breakfast. He implied--but never quite stated--that we would not be brothers, if I sought full communion with the Catholic Church. That came true; a couple years later, I called him on his birthday, as I'd done every year for close to ten of them. He didn't recognize my number, and it was the most strained, awkward phone call I have ever had. We haven't spoken since. We were close enough that I attended the rehearsal dinner for his wedding. His wife's uncle is a Catholic priest. I remember reading a blog post of theirs, that early in their relationship, she told him of the p
Post a Comment
Read more
My wheelchair was nearly destroyed by a car last night. That's a bit melodramatic, I suppose, because it is intact and undamaged. But we'd left my power chair ("Red Sam" in the official designation) in-between the maze of cars parked out front of Chris Yee's house for Bible Study. [Isn't that a Protestant Bible study?--ed.] They are good friends, and it is not under any official auspices. [Not BSF?--ed.] They're BSF guys, but it's not a BSF study. Anyway, I wasn't worried; I made a joke about calling the vendor the next day: "What seems to be the problem, sir?" 'Well, it was destroyed by a car.' As it happened, a guy bumped into it at slow speed. His car got the worst of it. And this only reinforces what I've said for a solid 13 years [Quickie commercial coming] If you want a power wheelchair that lasts, get a Quickie. They're fast, obviously, and they're tanks. Heck, my old one still would work, but the batteries ar
13 comments
Read more