Friday, July 10, 2009

I have a confession to make. You know that show on the Catholic network (EWTN) called The Journey Home? I often watch it. I like it. I have for quite some time. Somewhat more scandalously, I've wanted to be a guest on the show. It's a show about former Protestants (I think also wayward "cradle Catholics") who come back to the Catholic Church. Even were I not considering such a move--which I cannot deny--it would be enjoyable for two reasons: 1. If you want to see passionate, Christ-like Catholics, watch this show. 2. If you've ever suspected that your Protestant church's theology is a bunch of convenient, anti-intellectual, fundamentalist nonsense, watch this show. [Sidebar rant: If you equate "fundamentalist" with voting Republican and/or being a moral traditionalist, I am NOT on your side.] The subtitle of the show could be "Pesky, Inconvenient Truths From Sane Christian People." In defense of non-loony Protestantism, many of these people could have saved themselves lots of trouble being conservative Anglicans, Presbyterians, or Lutherans. These converts do tend to be from the oddball wing of non-denominational Christianity. Easy pickings. On the other hand, this show would surely disabuse you of the notion that Catholics don't read, care about, or know Scripture. I'm just telling you straight up: Catholics who disdain/disobey/ignore Scripture are bad Catholics; they are not representative. That's also what I love about this show: I once thought Protestant=zealous for Christ, Catholic=lukewarm nominalism. Lies! All lies! Glory be!
All that is to say, while I remain skeptical of certain Catholic distinctives, (Mary, papacy/succession, Eucharist?) it is foolish for me to believe that a fully-orbed Catholic faith keeps one from Christ. The opposite is rather the case.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

For your enjoyment, a poker haiku, more specifically, one devoted to the popular game Texas Hold 'Em:

You Cracked My Aces

You cracked my Aces
With a river spade flush King
You lucky donkey.

Monday, July 06, 2009

Five More Ways To Tell You’ve Spent Too Much Time At Christ Our King In Columbia, MO

5. You think pie-eating is a sacrament.

4. The words, “beer,” “hot tub,” and “politics” sound like a good idea for a men’s retreat.

3. Drinking beer and talking theology is a given, not a cutting-edge ministry outreach. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

2. You are convinced that Mark Twain is a saint (in the Catholic sense).

1. You say, “Thanks be to God” after reading a passage of Scripture in your personal devotions.
5 Ways To Tell You’ve Spent Too Much Time At Christ Our King Presbyterian Church in Columbia, MO

5. At dinner, you mistakenly recite the Words of Institution upon touching a piece of bread.

4. You intentionally try to pronounce words like “sit” and “being” with that Hannibal accent to sound cooler.

3. It is probable that you know the exact hymn number of at least 35 hymns in the PCA’s Trinity Hymnal.

2. You call up the radio station to request the Gloria Patri, hymn #732.

1. You’ve heard the phrase “large and startling figures” in a sermon at least 15 times. (And still haven’t read the book.)

I just realized I could do three more lists like this easy, and I probably will.