5 Thoughts on Monday's Tea Party GOP Debate 5. I'm going to call "Mittens" (let the reader understand) the "Republican John Kerry" until he goes away. 4. Does anyone want to send Rick Santorum to Afghanistan with a copy of "Dulce Et Decorum Est" to see how eager he is for war then? Maybe it's just me. 3. Ron Paul may not be able to speak an entire paragraph without getting angry, but that doesn't mean he's wrong. 2. Bachmann, please shut up. Please. 1. Rick Perry? Really? No, seriously. Bonus: If we had Gingrich's brain, Santorum's faith, and Mittens' cool, our candidate could beat 1984 Reagan. I hate it when this happens.