5 Signs You Are Ankle-Deep In The Tiber 5. You start laughing at traditional Protestant notions of "apostolic." 4. You say "Holy Mother Church" without snickering. 3. You are more anti-Nestorian than anti-Marian. (Svendsen, MacArthur, get with the program!) 2. You start daydreaming about dating Catholic girls. [It's always sex with you, isn't it?--ed.] Nolo contendere. 1. You join an RCIA class. [You're outed now.--ed.] The biggest open secret ever.