Safe Haven

I don't like losing control; I think of myself as a strong guy. In some ways, I am. There are things buried deep within us, wounds we carry that we had no part in inflicting. We all have a face we want to show to the world. It may even be a true face, but if we are to be partakers in the divine nature, then what is wrong must begin to be set right, even if it hurts us to be brought to light. Those evils are bigger than us, and indeed, even bigger than those who inflicted them. To believe in a spiritual world larger and greater than this one is not to deny harms done, whether by us, or to us. Rather, it is to believe that the worlds are connected, to believe that love and forgiveness are so immeasurably more powerful than their opposites that we should laugh at the thought of refusing to give them. What eyes has mercy given us today? Today may not be the day I am healed enough to be an agent of redemption, an agent of forgiveness. But the smallest step of love is to say that I...

Frankly, it's been awhile. This, however, was the perfect word at the perfect time. I don't know about you, but I've had a few burnout phases in my spiritual life. I may be emerging from one. I developed a plan of prayer because I'm a sinner, and I didn't want to be a sinner anymore. I was totally focused on the sin and myself. The prayers were like a tool in my hand. If you try at anything for long enough, you'll find a measure of success. It felt tough and manly to do the same thing every day, to power through it, even if I really wanted to watch cat videos. Here's the truth, though: God doesn't care how many prayers you say. No, seriously. He says it right here. I'm not sure how the merit system in the Kingdom works, but 10,000 Rosaries without love is worthless.

You know, cancer seems to touch many lives. I guess I just know a bunch of heroes, because I know what they'd do.  I wonder if Nathan Folkemer has seen this? I'd say "prayerfully consider," but I didn't. I didn't consider; I just did. It's Mrs. DeMille's birthday, and this is what she asked for, too, so... It's slightly better than this . But only slightly. The background vocals, though! They win all the things.

When I was a kid, I had a Charlie Brown/Peanuts video, where Charlie enters a local decathlon. He begins to do really well, and the long-distance run is the final event. Charlie begins to daydream, closing his eyes, and runs the wrong way. In the midst of it, he exclaims to himself, "I could be the next Bruce Jenner!" Truthfully, I won't forget this. If you've ever watched an elite athlete, or listened to them talk, they are confident, usually to the point of arrogance. It's one of the highest and best mountains to be on in this society. What happens when you're no longer that guy? What if inside you were never too sure or fond of yourself? Maybe your mom was controlling, and your dad was distant. You've even questioned your sexuality, but the greatest athlete in the world can't say that, maybe not even to himself. I've seen their shows, you know. The Kardashians. I don't hate them; I really don't get that. Even though we're only se...

Have you heard or read in the news about these people intentionally inflicting disabilities on themselves, because they want attention, or it seems "heroic," or whatever? What? I was just angry at first, and I'm praying as I type this, but we do realize that sickness, disease, and disability weren't part of the plan, right? (Knowing that yes, God is sovereign, and that in itself invites questions.) It's one thing to say that the good, merciful, and all-wise God works good in all circumstances; it's quite another to say that being disabled is good as such. Of course it isn't. You wouldn't be congratulating me on my ability and willingness to see the positive, if it were. How much have we failed to love, if people want to be cripples, just to be noticed, to be wanted, to be human? Man, that just kills me. I'm here to tell you: you're not missing anything. It's a unique way to experience the world, but you know, my sufferings have only t...

Worth a read, brethren.

5. That moment when one's glasses roll off one's lap and under the table, out of reach. 4. My love for Pete Sampras was suffused with patriotic fervor; watching Federer even now is pure sports joy that defies explanation. 3. The equivalent would be a 52-year-old Michael Jordan coming back to be the second or third best player in the NBA. Get a look now, folks; this could be our last year (last few months, at that) to watch Federer, the greatest male tennis player of all time. 2. Those St. Louis Cardinals are at it again. Yes, if I were not a fan, it would be irritating, to say the least. 1. I wonder if reading is a bad idea right now?