Thursday, April 23, 2009

Someone please remind me not to listen to sappy, broken-hearted songs about divorce from Don Henley before my Marriage and Family Counseling class. Or maybe don't. I just know all this talk of communicating, digging under surface emotions, and staying connected has me wondering wistfully if my parents ever tried any of that. Now, I love Don Henley, but I know that this popping into my over the last weeks has more to do with those secret kid hopes that our parents would reconsider themselves. It's too late for me; Dad died a long time ago. I wanted to know if I was crazy, so just my luck, I found myself in a conversation with a fellow seminarian whose parents divorced, and I asked him. He said no, he'd had that thought and hope since he was fifteen. It made me wonder if Dad would've said anything like this to Mom had he had the chance. Maybe things would have been different. At least one thing.
I have enjoyed reading Sara S. Katz's column "Single in the Suburbs" over the last couple of years over at MSN, even though she is vain and self-involved. She's a great writer, or so it seems, and it gives me a window into how these divorce-inflicters think when somehow they have to move on, knowing that they still need love and sex. She has trouble forgiving herself, because she knows she's harmed her kids. She still longs for her husband, while in the next breath reminding herself that he made her feel small and didn't love her or want her.
Apparently, the dude is pretty adept at landing hot young chicks, and rubbing it in the face of his ex-wife. Not that I condone his continuing adultery (of a serial nature) but in the context of where we are, I say, "Good for you, Chief." I can't imagine why they couldn't hold it together, but as a counterpoint to my strong opinion that people should make it work for the kids, we have this epic reply from emo-whine legends Blink-182.
On balance, I'd say you can't make things better if you stop trying. It's pretty easy therefore for me to take nearly absolutist position on divorce set forth in the Scriptures, because I've experienced it all, and frankly, I could give a rat's posterior what makes people "happy" at this point.