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5 Things To Do On The Day After One's 30th Birthday 5. Eat a Chipotle (TM) grilled steak burrito; yum. 4. Watch a slew of criminally good-looking people do the tango. 3. Make some new friends, and be in a car that gets a speeding ticket at 3:15 AM. 2. Be sure to do one's level-best to sit up straight in the back seat of said car, because "I have a disability, and am presently unable to shift my hips" apparently will not dissuade the officer from his belief that you are three sheets to the wind. Yes, I want to sue him, thanks for asking. 1. Sing "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" in a gay bar* at 1 AM. *-In no way do I endorse homosexual practice, nor do I deny the biblical teaching on such matters. Sue me; they had karaoke!

5 Thoughts on Turning 30 (on the 30th) 5. Sheesh, "The word for today is 'job,' J-O-B." 4. Could I possibly get better-looking? No; then I'd be Tom Cruise. 3. Hope I don't go gray soon. 2. I'd hoped to accomplish more than this. 1. [Adjusting age scale of girls I will chase slightly upward] ( You still have no shame.--ed .) True.