Safe Haven

5 Thoughts While Watching "Inception" 5. What the jimmy is going on in this movie? 4. It sounds like Ken Watanabe...and it is! 3. Even Leo DiCaprio can't ruin this movie. 2. This movie is freaking me out...let me out of here! Oh, sod it; I might as well stay to get some closure. 1. Seriously, what is going on? [Completely Pointless Fantasy Baseball Rant: I started off with the best pitching in the league, or at least the luckiest. I got Carpenter and Rivera, and ended up with Ubaldo Jimenez. He was a possible star budding after a 15-win campaign, but noone expected 15 wins in the first half of the season. Needless to say, I'm glad I held on to him. Meanwhile, Mariano Rivera remains the best closing relief pitcher in the game...at age 40. Though Ubaldo got levelled for seven starts (7.54 ERA) before this last outing that was good, his ERA stands at a nifty 2.67. You can have a few bad ones when it's 1.00 through 12 starts. Poor Chris Carpenter: 11-3, 2.93 ERA. He s...

I was kind of inspired by this. I know these cats from TV when Chris Matthews used to sound like a contrarian centrist. They're good dudes, man. The kind of Dems you want to get beat by. [Grammar Fascist: "by whom you wish to be beaten."] I'm a little sad, because: 1) I think I like Obama as a person and a symbol; 2) I think his policy choices will blow up in our faces; 3) Obama is missing a huge opportunity. With that, a top 5 list: 5 Probable Locations For The Post-Partisan Obama 5. The Bush ranch in Crawford, TX while an Obama-bot controlled by an embittered Al Gore runs the country. 4. Trapped on a delayed flight at O'Hare Airport. 3. Locked in a closet in Milwaukee, WI. (rant forthcoming) 2. In a secret, undisclosed location with Dick Cheney that is obviously owned by the Chinese. 1. Completely lost in the president's attempt to quit smoking. [Related Rant Of Political Disappointment: I remember the moment where Obama let the mask slip just a little in t...

Fare thee well, fair maiden.

5 Virtues of Sunflower Seeds 5. They're healthy. 4. Sunflowers are pretty, which means pretty women aren't far behind. 3. I think they grow in Kansas, which helps an otherwise boring state economically. 2. As glorious as baseball can be, it needs a guy spitting seeds to take it to another level. 1. They're another thing you can pour salt on.

Well, it's 2:30 in the morning, and listening to music again. I can't go to bed until Mr. Edmonds and Toni Braxton stop manipulating me . I don't care; I love this song. Maybe one day I'll make a list of the top 20 (pop) songs that make me yell, "Why didn't I write this song?!" What do you think Mr. Edmonds made on this song, eleventy billion dollars? [Another song which would be useless if people weren't fornicating perverts.--ed.] The dude might have died, you never know. I hate Shanice's version on the Babyface Unplugged special in '97. [Everyone does.--ed.] And Madonna would be selling cubic-zirconia earrings without Mr. Edmonds and this song in 1995. It's a Faustian bargain really: He'll make you a bajillion dollars and extend your career, but in 15 years, it'll be his song and noone will care you were involved.