Safe Haven

Welcome to the 2010 FIFA World Cup (TM) and the only match that matters right now: England vs. USA. Obviously, I'm liveblogging this: Anthems: I love the English national anthem because it's the same melody as "My Country, 'Tis Of Thee." I wonder if they played our anthem too fast on purpose, so our fans couldn't sing along (very well). 4th Minute: Goal, England. Gerrard. Are you serious? 35th Minute: The US looks pretty good, considering. However, England looks like they can score from anywhere. 40th Minute: GOAL! Clint Dempsey! Weak goal, soft shot. 1-1. Half-Time: 1-1. Advantage: USA. 49th Minute: Wayne Rooney barely misses a pass for a goal, still 1-1. 52nd Minute: Heskey ROBBED by USA goalkeeper Tim Howard, still 1-1. 65th Minute: Jozy Altidore hits the post! Still 1-1. 88th Minute: Still tied, US barely surviving. England can really score. 94th Minute: After 4 minutes of stoppage time, the game finishes 1-1.

I spent the evening "baptizing" my friend Daniel into the original six "Star Trek" films, starting with 1979's Star Trek: The Motion Picture. [Thanks a bunch, J.J. Abrams, for rendering this whole story moot for the sake of the plot of your admittedly awesome reboot.--ed.] The musical score is just glorious, and I'd say the story has underrated metaphysical, philosophical, or otherwise theological depth. A brief synopsis is in order: An enormous energy cloud of great power destroys three Klingon vessels. The Federation determines that the cloud is on a direct course for Earth. The USS Enterprise , currently under the command of Capt. Willard Decker, is docked near Earth after 18 months of refitting. (Captain Decker has been in command two and a half years, at the recommendation of now-Admiral James T. Kirk, who currently serves as Chief of Starfleet Operations.) The ship and crew are ordered to intercept and investigate. Admiral Kirk, who had given up comm...

Happy Birthday Mike. I think it's been 11 years we've known each other. No offense, it's also one of my least favorite days of the year. [It's someone else's birthday, isn't it?--ed.] Yes. And she's the big gaping hole in me right now. For no good reason. [What is it with you and professor's daughters, anyway?--ed.] I have no idea. I can't even say I know her that well. We seem to run into each other every few years. She's still single, for no good reason. [Besides the Lord's will, you pagan.--ed.] Yeah, that. [Why don't you call her, and wish her a happy birthday?--ed.] Because it would seem really weird and stalkerish, like all the other things I've done. Because I'm a bum who's about to torpedo his only viable career path in what may be a fruitless search for Truth. Because I'm not good enough for her. Because I'm not the kind of man who can credibly pretend it just a "friendly birthday call." Because I...