Safe Haven

I'm officially mad about the Google ad at the bottom of my page: one of those Mormon commercials. With all due respect, here at Safe Haven, we believe unreservedly in the Nicene Creed: "We believe in one Lord Jesus Christ...begotten of his Father before all worlds, God of God, Light of Light, begotten, not made; consubstantial with the Father ..." In short, Mormons are not Christians, because they deny this. Sorry; gotta shoot you straight. [What about Glenn Beck?--ed.] Well, he's not a Christian, either. I am right-wing enough to believe that he'll say something true about politics 32.2% percent of the time. But please stuff it concerning God, sir; you've now idea who you're talking about.

My friend Gail Sallee wondered aloud on the inter-webs why people shop in the mall in their pajamas; I don't have a hard and fast answer, but I have a cranky speculation: I think it is a symptom of the loss of the distinction between public and private space. A full-fledged ruckus or fracas ensues if you happen to humbly suggest that the God-man died on a cross and rose from the dead, but curses if you try to stop me from shopping at that Dillard's over there as if it were my living room. It's not that there's too much stuff in the public space, it's just the wrong stuff. Isn't that weird? We can share our bodies in public, but not our hearts. I'll make you a deal: I'll button my face if you button your shirt. Side-Rant: I love malls. I love shopping. I love nearly everything about it. I don't have to buy anything; I just enjoy the experience. I know I'm not supposed to say this; I'm supposed to lament greed and gaudiness and suburbs and weal...

5 Thoughts On Finally Watching "It's A Wonderful Life" 5. If I become a tenth of the man George Bailey is, I shall be blessed indeed. 4. Dude, Mary is a total fox. Why'd you fart around so long? 3. Can't get much more Catholic than that movie. Just sayin'. 2. Top 3 Personal Favorite Actresses: (3. Kelly Preston 2. Natalie Wood 1. Katharine Hepburn. Top 3 Favorite Actors: 3. Tom Cruise 2. Jimmy Stewart 1. Cary Grant. Also receiving votes: Denzel Washington, Morgan Freeman, Dustin Hoffman.) 1. Look out, Potter. God is watching.

5 More Ways To Tell You Are Jason Kettinger 5. At least 88 percent of the time, "flush" refers to a poker hand, not to a toilet. 4. You've dreamed of getting "Colombo" on DVD. 3. You've seen "Bloodsport" 37 times. 2. You have yelled out, "Yeah, Carpenters!" and "Darn right, Lionel Richie!" at your TV. 1. Your funniest inside joke involves the word, "crevasse."

The Top 5 Dumbest Things I've Heard Since I Started 'The Quest' 5. "I care about the Bible. I don't care about church history." I don't even know where to start. 4. "Nobody has it all right." Well, then how do you know Jesus is God, or that He rose from the dead? How agnostic do you want to be? 3. "Do you really want to join the Church that gave us the Crusades?" No, not really. But I'll take Thomas Aquinas, Chesterton, Ratzinger, Wojtyla, and Mother Theresa. Yahtzee! Or Gin. Or something. 2. "Repeal Trent, and I'm there." First off, most of you haven't even read the thing. Second, this can't possibly happen. As I recall, we asked for an ecumenical council. This is it. What now? Furthermore, in Catholic theology, asking the Church to repudiate an ecumenical council is like asking the sun to rise in the west. Added bonus: Who made you who said this the Arbiter of All Christian Doctrine? 1. "Luther wasn'...

OK, everyone. Hi. Today was the final week of the Understanding Catholicism at my Presbyterian church. It's been a fascinating ride, not least to watch the, um, interesting, reactions to official Catholic teaching on a plethora of issues. Frankly, I didn't expect to find so many ex-Catholics here. And I don't think it will wash to say that people leave the Catholic Church because they want to sin, at least not these people, it would appear. And as a semi-official Friend of the Catholic Church, it breaks my heart. Not that my community is any less with their addition, but I would tell any Catholic that he or she is sitting on a gold mine if you happen to notice. [Isn't that a little friendly to an organization that has perverted the gospel?--ed.] As soon as you figure out what 'the gospel' is, I'll let you know. But if that term means something close to, "Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!" then I must issue an emphatic ...