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Thursday, April 07, 2016

I'm Ready To Be Happy

I was talking with God last night, and I remember saying, "I'm ready to do Your will, O God, because I'm ready to be happy." I know that God is my happiness, not as merely a fact that I recite through gritted teeth as I desire something else, but as my desire. I don't even know what I'm saying, but I know it's true.

You might be one of those people who sins, not because of any great malice in the doing, but because happiness scares you. Love scares you. The unconditional kind. The kind that changes whatever it touches into itself. If so, you will eventually say, "I'm ready to be happy," because the sorts of people who say this start out telling God that He's obviously a lunatic for even bothering.

The plain love-drenched truth is that no matter what happened to you from the beginning until now, whatever has kept you from your destiny in God is a lie, and built on a lie. Maybe some of us need to re-think that clever definition of grace as "undeserved favor," however true it is. Wounded people say, "I don't deserve it" out of fear, and self-hatred. Forget deserving. If God loves you, stop looking for the fine print.

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