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Wednesday, November 02, 2016

I Dropped The Bones

I was eating leftover chicken wings. I don't know if you know this, but I try not to throw any actual food in my trash can. Assume the worst in a scenario of bachelorhood, and you might be able to guess why.

So, I put the bones on a plate in order to take them downstairs, with the aim of throwing them in the glorious municipal trash can on the corner.

They rolled off my lap. On to the floor. Every. Single. One.

I would love to tell you that I handled this moment with trademark grace. I would love to tell you that the world is full of sunshine and rainbows, truly. I'd love to tell you lots of things.

I cursed with the ferocity I normally reserve for Robert Urich's acting, and untimely double plays. Even on the best of days, I have a long way to go. Maybe "someone dropped the bones" could be code for, "I completely overreacted to the smallest thing."

You wouldn't know anyone like that, would you?

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