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5 Things To Do On The Day After One's 30th Birthday

5. Eat a Chipotle (TM) grilled steak burrito; yum.

4. Watch a slew of criminally good-looking people do the tango.

3. Make some new friends, and be in a car that gets a speeding ticket at 3:15 AM.

2. Be sure to do one's level-best to sit up straight in the back seat of said car, because "I have a disability, and am presently unable to shift my hips" apparently will not dissuade the officer from his belief that you are three sheets to the wind. Yes, I want to sue him, thanks for asking.

1. Sing "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" in a gay bar* at 1 AM.

*-In no way do I endorse homosexual practice, nor do I deny the biblical teaching on such matters. Sue me; they had karaoke!

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