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5 Thoughts After Writing A Certified, Literary Piece Of Crap

5. Where's Tim Butler? Then again, I'm not sure he can help.

4. [Where is this story going, anyway?--ed.] Well, if I knew that, I'd tell you.

3. [You should kill some more people.--ed.] No, that's a cheap trick. [Like everything you write.--ed.] Touche.

2. I might try writing the seventh part to make it better.

1. [You really shouldn't speak so crudely; this is a family site.--ed.] Psssshhh. I can't even pass for Martha Stewart, much less Martha Washington.

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