Skip to main content

Maybe I Should Do Public Policy

So there I was, praying the Rosary, as is my custom--wait, I digress; you see, it was 1 AM, and even though it was technically the next day, God is not an impatient curmudgeon with a pocket watch. I must have been tired. Had to be. I get to the end of the fourth Sorrowful Mystery--yes, Sorrowful--and I get to the 'O My Jesus'. It's supposed to be, "O my Jesus, forgive us our sins, save us from the fires of Hell, lead all souls to Heaven, especially those in most need of Thy mercy." A noble prayer, and we Catholics know it well. Instead, I say, "O my Jesus, forgive us our sins, save us from the fires of Hell, lead all souls to Heaven, especially those in most need of Thy fundraising." Yes, this really happened. I stop and say to no one in particular, "What did I just say? Fundraising? What?" [What are you, a megachurch pastor?--ed.] I know, right? So, obviously this becomes the funniest thing this side of my brother and sister-in-law's Wedding Guest Dutch Oven Story. You don't want to know. Or maybe you do!
But I'm laughing all the way through the fifth Sorrowful Mystery--the crucifixion and death of Our Lord, mind you--and I realize that if God were a curmudgeon, laughing during the Sorrowful Mysteries would net me what, 190,000 years in Purgatory? Oh, man. Maybe the Holy Spirit knows something I don't (obviously) about someone who needs money? [Maybe you were daydreaming again about being Rick Santorum's campaign manager in 2020.--ed.] Forget that; President Romney could retire early, and I'll do it in 2016.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hilarious Com-Box Quote of The Day: "I was caught immediately because it is the Acts of the Apostles, not the Acts of the Holy Spirit Acting Erratically."--Donald Todd, reacting to the inartful opposition of the Holy Spirit and the Magisterium. Mark Galli, an editor at Christianity Today, had suggested that today's "confusion" in evangelicalism replicates a confusion on the day of Pentecost. Mr. Todd commented after this reply , and the original article is here. My thoughts: By what means was this Church-less "consensus" formed? If the Council did not possess the authority to adjudicate such questions, who does? If the Council Fathers did not intend to be the arbiters, why do they say that they do? At the risk of being rude, I would define evangelicalism as, "Whatever I want or need to believe at any particular time." Ecclesial authority to settle a particular question is a step forward, but only as long as, "God alone is Lord of the con
17 comments
Read more

A Friend I Once Had, And The Dogmatic Principle

 I once had a friend, a dear friend, who helped me with personal care needs in college. Reformed Presbyterian to the core. When I was a Reformed Presbyterian, I visited their church many times. We were close. I still consider his siblings my friends. (And siblings in the Lord.) Nevertheless, when I began to consider the claims of the Catholic Church to be the Church Christ founded, he took me out to breakfast. He implied--but never quite stated--that we would not be brothers, if I sought full communion with the Catholic Church. That came true; a couple years later, I called him on his birthday, as I'd done every year for close to ten of them. He didn't recognize my number, and it was the most strained, awkward phone call I have ever had. We haven't spoken since. We were close enough that I attended the rehearsal dinner for his wedding. His wife's uncle is a Catholic priest. I remember reading a blog post of theirs, that early in their relationship, she told him of the p
Post a Comment
Read more
My wheelchair was nearly destroyed by a car last night. That's a bit melodramatic, I suppose, because it is intact and undamaged. But we'd left my power chair ("Red Sam" in the official designation) in-between the maze of cars parked out front of Chris Yee's house for Bible Study. [Isn't that a Protestant Bible study?--ed.] They are good friends, and it is not under any official auspices. [Not BSF?--ed.] They're BSF guys, but it's not a BSF study. Anyway, I wasn't worried; I made a joke about calling the vendor the next day: "What seems to be the problem, sir?" 'Well, it was destroyed by a car.' As it happened, a guy bumped into it at slow speed. His car got the worst of it. And this only reinforces what I've said for a solid 13 years [Quickie commercial coming] If you want a power wheelchair that lasts, get a Quickie. They're fast, obviously, and they're tanks. Heck, my old one still would work, but the batteries ar
13 comments
Read more