Today would be my father's 60th birthday. It's hard to picture him as an old guy. He was 36 when I lost him. I'm sad, of course. As I said in the post called, "Funeral," it's a hard thing. But sadness isn't the only feeling.
The other very strong feeling is hope. It's a funny thing when you follow Jesus: (Note well, NYT/clueless media) some of us actually believe this stuff. I really do believe in the resurrection of the body, and the life of the world to come. I have no idea how the Lord will judge my father, but I have great hope.
I suppose I should say "has judged," but there is still the end to come.
I have lesser hopes, too. I hope he is proud of me, and all his children. Perhaps it's fitting that the only enduring memory I have of him is seeing him look down and smile at me. My brother and I, his oldest children, we think a lot about how we carry our name--his name--and whether we do it well. There's a spiritual metaphor in there, but you're not infants; draw the conclusion(s) yourself.
That's the thing: I only remember that he loved me. If I think of all the substitute fathers I was given besides him, I can see where I have drawn false conclusions about God. But it comes to this: God Our Father is only Love. You might say, "What about justice? You spoke of a judgment." [What about justice? You spoke of a judgment.--ed.] What of it?
There's a movie called, "What Dreams May Come," starring Robin Williams. Now, let me say right off the top that theologically, if you are anything close to an orthodox Christian, it won't hit you just right all the time. But as a side-note, Williams gives a great eulogy at a funeral for one of the characters. I want to say that this movie is very special to me, and I suspect for a lot of people who have lost those very close to them, maybe more than once.
But overall, it takes loss and the hope of eternal life very seriously. And the main point is this, and I think despite the errors, it's a worthy one: If you fall under God's wrath, that's your decision, not His. God's mercy is so vast, we can hardly speak it. And none of us really understands. When we turn away from God, we hate him, but also ourselves. That's how perfectly we are made for Him.
The other very strong feeling is hope. It's a funny thing when you follow Jesus: (Note well, NYT/clueless media) some of us actually believe this stuff. I really do believe in the resurrection of the body, and the life of the world to come. I have no idea how the Lord will judge my father, but I have great hope.
I suppose I should say "has judged," but there is still the end to come.
I have lesser hopes, too. I hope he is proud of me, and all his children. Perhaps it's fitting that the only enduring memory I have of him is seeing him look down and smile at me. My brother and I, his oldest children, we think a lot about how we carry our name--his name--and whether we do it well. There's a spiritual metaphor in there, but you're not infants; draw the conclusion(s) yourself.
That's the thing: I only remember that he loved me. If I think of all the substitute fathers I was given besides him, I can see where I have drawn false conclusions about God. But it comes to this: God Our Father is only Love. You might say, "What about justice? You spoke of a judgment." [What about justice? You spoke of a judgment.--ed.] What of it?
There's a movie called, "What Dreams May Come," starring Robin Williams. Now, let me say right off the top that theologically, if you are anything close to an orthodox Christian, it won't hit you just right all the time. But as a side-note, Williams gives a great eulogy at a funeral for one of the characters. I want to say that this movie is very special to me, and I suspect for a lot of people who have lost those very close to them, maybe more than once.
But overall, it takes loss and the hope of eternal life very seriously. And the main point is this, and I think despite the errors, it's a worthy one: If you fall under God's wrath, that's your decision, not His. God's mercy is so vast, we can hardly speak it. And none of us really understands. When we turn away from God, we hate him, but also ourselves. That's how perfectly we are made for Him.
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