I like talking. Talking and words are how I come to understand. If there's a problem, I value the opportunity to talk it out. Words are the means by which I communicate my deepest desires and thoughts.
Silence is good for many things. Peace. Reflection. Reverence. We need it sometimes, in order not to be bombarded by a Cacophony Of Words, even in our minds. Silence is not so good for being angry. Angry silence is the worst kind. I hate it more than shouting. I try to remember that people need time to cool off, to think about things.
I was once told not to push so hard to reconcile, that it was too soon. Honestly, I don't get that. But like I said, we have different temperaments and all that. So you do what you do. You pray. You fight through the pain and the anger, even if it was your fault. And wait, I guess.
Father Coffey told me it happens. It happened to him. He said he said the wrong thing, and that was it. To this day, I don't understand. I'm not built that way. It seems completely foreign to the reign of Christ in the hearts and lives of Christians. If that sounds like a guilt-trip, it is. There are a few things I know cause conflict between certain friends and me. Politics is a big one. But we don't have to talk about that, or anything else, if we know it's not good for us to reach our goal: to be with God.
But I'm just telling you, straight up: You're sinning against God, not reconciling with your brother. And Jesus spoke pretty plain about it. He said if you don't forgive, you're not forgiven. Not everybody has to be your Andrew, James, and John. But we don't have the option of loving in some generic way, while having that person we can't stand.
I still feel the movements of the anger sometimes. You worry if it would take over, if you got the chance to speak again. But then, it's enough to say, "I'm wounded, and I'm incomplete because we're not OK." Because that's what we mean to say. I heard one wise man say that anger should be sadness oftentimes, and we men especially misplace it a lot.
I am really sad. I wanted to come here and erase all memory of this person, and from every place. But I can't, and I shouldn't. Because if I say they don't matter, that they never did, I'm a liar. If they don't matter, why am I still writing and thinking about them?
So, first things first: I plead with Chris and Adam to reconcile, as is fitting in the Lord Jesus Christ. You can decide how best to deal with those things that drive you crazy and make you mad at each other. But you don't have the option of not being friends. I'm just telling you. You're already brothers. Make the connection.
And for me personally, I renew my sorrow and regret for the offense I caused. If I could undo it, I would. But I can say that I wish you well, and I go toward Heaven remembering that you were and are a blessing to me. It hurts and angers me that I might have to go to Heaven before we speak again, but I'll do it. Just know that I'm still right here, if you want to talk.
Silence is good for many things. Peace. Reflection. Reverence. We need it sometimes, in order not to be bombarded by a Cacophony Of Words, even in our minds. Silence is not so good for being angry. Angry silence is the worst kind. I hate it more than shouting. I try to remember that people need time to cool off, to think about things.
I was once told not to push so hard to reconcile, that it was too soon. Honestly, I don't get that. But like I said, we have different temperaments and all that. So you do what you do. You pray. You fight through the pain and the anger, even if it was your fault. And wait, I guess.
Father Coffey told me it happens. It happened to him. He said he said the wrong thing, and that was it. To this day, I don't understand. I'm not built that way. It seems completely foreign to the reign of Christ in the hearts and lives of Christians. If that sounds like a guilt-trip, it is. There are a few things I know cause conflict between certain friends and me. Politics is a big one. But we don't have to talk about that, or anything else, if we know it's not good for us to reach our goal: to be with God.
But I'm just telling you, straight up: You're sinning against God, not reconciling with your brother. And Jesus spoke pretty plain about it. He said if you don't forgive, you're not forgiven. Not everybody has to be your Andrew, James, and John. But we don't have the option of loving in some generic way, while having that person we can't stand.
I still feel the movements of the anger sometimes. You worry if it would take over, if you got the chance to speak again. But then, it's enough to say, "I'm wounded, and I'm incomplete because we're not OK." Because that's what we mean to say. I heard one wise man say that anger should be sadness oftentimes, and we men especially misplace it a lot.
I am really sad. I wanted to come here and erase all memory of this person, and from every place. But I can't, and I shouldn't. Because if I say they don't matter, that they never did, I'm a liar. If they don't matter, why am I still writing and thinking about them?
So, first things first: I plead with Chris and Adam to reconcile, as is fitting in the Lord Jesus Christ. You can decide how best to deal with those things that drive you crazy and make you mad at each other. But you don't have the option of not being friends. I'm just telling you. You're already brothers. Make the connection.
And for me personally, I renew my sorrow and regret for the offense I caused. If I could undo it, I would. But I can say that I wish you well, and I go toward Heaven remembering that you were and are a blessing to me. It hurts and angers me that I might have to go to Heaven before we speak again, but I'll do it. Just know that I'm still right here, if you want to talk.
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