Skip to main content

I'm An ENFP, And Not Ashamed

The self-proclaimed "#1 career blog" was basically telling women to stay away from ENFP men, because we're too flighty, and won't make any money. Well, frankly, when you're 40, angry, and childless because you used the feminist lies as an excuse to be a jerk...I'll say a prayer for you. The proprietor is married somehow. Well, she looked attractive. You can get away with a lot if you're attractive.

Personally, I like myself. As a public service, I thought I would offer a few thoughts on what I know about men, and how they think. (Warning: Some of this might be brutal.)

1. You are not as beautiful as you think you are. Catching his eye doesn't mean squat, in the end. You have to have something else about you that he likes. Otherwise, you're just a hot chick who thinks too much of herself, most likely. Ladies, be nice to the beautiful girls; it really is a curse.

2. Talk less, and listen more. There is no greater mistake than this. If a man senses that you don't care about what interests him, he'll find someone who does. DON'T INTERRUPT!

3. We really don't want to be your friend. Guys find friends in the course of life; we don't seek them out, unless we have to. The brutal truth is that the romantic potential of any relationship with a single woman is the first and primary thing we're thinking about. "Friends" is a category for women we appreciate in some way, but are unavailable or unsuitable.

4. Stop worrying about your body. It really is who you are that matters. Beauty does fade. What a real man wants is a woman who doesn't nag him, and who will back him up when it hits the fan. (Of course, there are males of the species doing otherwise, but who cares?)

5. Don't read women's magazines. Not only will they make you hate yourself, they're not correct. And for those of you who tend toward pride, they'll feed it.

6. Your girlfriends are completely wrong. They probably are jealous, if they tell you anything we don't already know (or you do). One of them likely is attracted to the man you like/are in a relationship with.

7. If a man tells you he's fine with being friends, he's lying. The only exception to this is if he's told you explicitly why he isn't interested. People who've gone past the Romantic Exploration Phase and agree it won't work can be friends, if conditions are right. Big if.

8. The reason a man would lie about being OK with friendship is because he thinks you will change your mind. That's the truth.

9. Flirting works. There is no "innocent" flirting; if you don't want our attention romantically, DON'T DO IT!

10. We men want someone better than we are. We've had to live with our failings all these years; we need someone with the grace to love us more than we do.

That's enough for now.

Comments

Anonymous said…
(1 year later...) #3 & #7 totally blew my mind. The whole post was helpful. Thanks for posting.

Popular posts from this blog

My Thoughts On The Harrison Butker Commencement Speech

Update: I read the whole thing. I’m sorry, but what a weirdo. I thought you [Tom Darrow, of Denver, CO] made a trenchant case for why lockdowns are bad, and I definitely appreciated it. But a graduation speech is *not* the place for that. Secondly, this is an august event. It always is. I would never address the President of the United States in this manner. Never. Even the previous president, though he deserves it, if anyone does. Thirdly, the affirmations of Catholic identity should be more general. He has no authority to propound with specificity on all matters of great consequence. It has all the hallmarks of a culture war broadside, and again, a layman shouldn’t speak like this. The respect and reverence due the clergy is *always due,* even if they are weak, and outright wrong. We just don’t brush them aside like corrupt Mafia dons, to make a point. Fourthly, I don’t know where anyone gets the idea that the TLM is how God demands to be worshipped. The Church doesn’t teach that. ...

Dear Alyse

 Today, you’re 35. Or at least you would be, in this place. You probably know this, but we’re OK. Not great, but OK. We know you wouldn’t want us moping around and weeping all the time. We try not to. Actually, I guess part of the problem is that you didn’t know how much we loved you. And that you didn’t know how to love yourself. I hope you have gotten to Love by now. Not a place, but fills everything in every way. I’m not Him, but he probably said, “Dear daughter/sister, you have been terribly hard on yourself. Rest now, and be at peace.” Anyway, teaching is going well, and I tell the kids all about you. They all say you are pretty. I usually can keep the boys from saying something gross for a few seconds. Mom and I are going to the game tonight. And like 6 more times, before I go back to South Carolina. I have seen Nicky twice, but I myself haven’t seen your younger kids. Bob took pictures of the day we said goodbye, and we did a family picture at the Abbey. I literally almost a...

A Friend I Once Had, And The Dogmatic Principle

 I once had a friend, a dear friend, who helped me with personal care needs in college. Reformed Presbyterian to the core. When I was a Reformed Presbyterian, I visited their church many times. We were close. I still consider his siblings my friends. (And siblings in the Lord.) Nevertheless, when I began to consider the claims of the Catholic Church to be the Church Christ founded, he took me out to breakfast. He implied--but never quite stated--that we would not be brothers, if I sought full communion with the Catholic Church. That came true; a couple years later, I called him on his birthday, as I'd done every year for close to ten of them. He didn't recognize my number, and it was the most strained, awkward phone call I have ever had. We haven't spoken since. We were close enough that I attended the rehearsal dinner for his wedding. His wife's uncle is a Catholic priest. I remember reading a blog post of theirs, that early in their relationship, she told him of the p...