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Suffering

As the latest struggle has come upon us, I had a few thoughts. My stepdad is in a coma, and he may never wake up. If he does, he most likely will never be the same. It took me a few hours to feel anything. But then watching my sister in her grief took me apart. As I laid there later in my bed thinking that I couldn't possibly cry more than this, I realized something: I will gladly cry every second of every day, as long as it means that I'm alive, and that there is Good. My sorrow is the proof.

This is not a senseless world. The people who say this don't know what they mean. We're supposed to feel this way when horrible things happen. Wouldn't you worry more if you didn't? Our trouble is when we try to make a meaning out of this thing, as if the most fragile creatures we are could begin to guess.

I only know that I was thankful for each breath. If one lonely life nearly ended could shatter the lives of thirty-odd people and who knows how many more, how special we must be! How powerful we are, and how beloved of God! What are we doing, wasting our lives? Forgetting to love, and forgetting to be loved? Especially by Him who put the breath of life in us in the first place.

We're gonna have folks over tonight. I'm going to look into each person's eyes and remember that this moment is not a small one. This person is special and powerful in their ability to love God and others. Any of us may be doing a poor job of it at any one time, but that's our task.

I never understood what this life was about. Why is it so...intense? Why is it so memorable? Because He made us. And when we fouled ourselves and this world, He died to save us. The joys and the loves of this world are not nothing. They are good in themselves. But without Him, they are forgotten. Lost. Don't you want to remember, and be remembered? To chase the good we know back to where it came from? To "walk in the Spirit" is to be walking the path that leads to everlasting joy. To know who we are, and what we are to do. We often fail and falter, but God can restore us again.

I don't want to die knowing that someone didn't know I loved them. I don't want to leave without hearing the words of God's peace. Don't fail to do good, to heal, while there is time.

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