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5 Humorous Thoughts

5 Thoughts For Today

5. I don't know who gave me these sour jellybeans, but they are fantastic. This is like the food version of Michael Bolton's, "I Said I Loved You But I Lied": "I said I loved you but I lied/'Cause this is more than love I feel inside/Said I loved you but I was wrong/'Cause love could never ever feel so strong..." [I said I loved you...but I lied.--ed.] Honestly.

4. I drew a cat that looked like a table. So Confirmation Sponsor Lady drew a proper cat sleeping on a table. I might be an artist, but not that kind of artist.

3. Consider the following syllogism:

Our end or goal is to see God in the Beatific Vision.

Because it is our highest end, it could be called The Answer.

But God is our highest end.

God is The Answer.

God is Love.

Therefore, Love Is The Answer. [The song is still hideous.--ed.] Speak for yourself, dude.

2. I saw a picture of Gisele Bundchen sitting there holding her baby--and if I'm lyin', I'm dyin'--I thought it was a friend of mine. I love those kind of mistakes. So if I say you look like a supermodel, hey, I might be telling the truth. Ahem.

1. Every penance I think up is hideously draconian. I'm either incredibly holy, or incredibly prideful. Film at 11.

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