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How To Tell You Are A Distracted Academic (And Are Old)

You are ROCKING OUT to the Gin Blossoms. Dude, that was '95 at the latest. Look, I'm sorry! I missed my 20s entirely. I cannot be 33; it's just wrong. Why did things happen this way? It's OK; I'll be fine in a minute.

Sigh. And I'll get back to the matters at hand in a moment. But before I do, I'm going to listen to "Anna Begins" by Counting Crows like three times. What a great love song. Creepy, but great.

I take Mr. Duritz in his metaphorical oddness to mean that he's afraid of commitment, and the things that make her Anna. [But is she real?--ed.] That's a good question. I always thought so. [You would.--ed.] What?

The Somebody who actually matters has a different plan for my life than I do or did. It just makes you wonder if you took a huge wrong turn, or something is wrong with you (I mean, worse than normal). I know, stop thinking like that. [I wasn't saying anything.--ed.]

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