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Easy For Me To Say, But...

I realized something profound in a new way today. I spend a lot of time talking to people when I'm not reading theology or writing. And the most important thing I have ever done is encourage others, and pray for them. And frankly, the thing I pray about most often is suffering. Doesn't matter if it's theirs, or someone else's. It's just there, all the time. Large or small, it's probably the most obvious thing you see from day to day. We're not going to escape it, and here's the key: we shouldn't try. Because even though Heaven will be the absence of suffering, amongst all the glories, He came down here to suffer not only for us, but with us. God with us.

 How do you feel now about your suffering? If we're supposed to find God, find Christ, then the truth is, He's right here, in our suffering, and we will find ourselves in His. What are we doing, trying to escape it? That's our key. Recall it was written, "My power is made perfect in weakness." But before you just let it pass, like so many Bible verses we've heard before, take a minute to think: Power to do what? For what? To be with Him. That is the answer to life, the universe, and everything. The good, the bad, has but one purpose: to bring us to God. Trying to be with God without suffering is like trying to fly. By all means, let's groan and cry together. The person who tells us to suck it up is as bad as the person who's trying to pretend it isn't there. But we cry because God made a good world that is not good right now, at least as we find it. The people who laugh at horror we call, "crazy," not spiritual. But that we laugh in joy and cry in sorrow is proof that we matter. We matter immensely.

There's a philosophy called existentialism, and as I understand it, it's the idea that the world is absurd, and we must make our own meaning. That's just it, though: the world is not absurd; it makes perfect, painful sense. God loves us so much that He is shouting at us, trying to find us. If we could only feel our pain, instead of hiding it, we'll find Him right there with us. God with us.

This is why I could only pray the Sorrowful Mysteries for so long; this is why I seemingly cry all the time. You'd cry too, if you saw it all the way it is. Somehow, I'm also the most optimistic person I know. Figure that out. On the other hand, I was before the Blessed Sacrament 2 weeks ago, and I was given these words, not only as words, but like a feeling you know at the core of yourself that never subsides: "His love never stops." It was overwhelming; I wondered if others saw me falling apart. Yet if I fall apart with Love, so be it.

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