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I Told You So (CCC, 528)

It has been one of my firmest convictions for many years that I've been reading the Bible exactly backwards; that is, if we understood the fullness of (faithful) Israel's longing and expectation for the Messiah, we would die of wonderment and laughter at the faithfulness of God. We Gentiles are the younger son; we are the wild olive branch, and while that should humble us, it should also strengthen us. God kept his word to Israel, though they did not keep theirs. Salvation doesn't come by knowledge alone, by the intellect alone; dare I say, it doesn't come by "faith" alone, and yet, I am encouraged. Just to ponder the sheer majesty of the story of redemption casts away many trembles of the heart. My failures in recent weeks relate to forgetting the obvious: if God could bring the New Covenant out of Israel's faithlessness, can he not order my next steps?

Listen to Nicole. My trouble is, I don't recognize suffering for what it is; I'm not even consciously aware that I'm troubled. And if you're not consciously aware, Satan loves that. If you're not offering things to God, he's stealing them, and giving you lies instead.

I need to pray, "Lord, I might even feel that things are fine, that I'm doing OK. But things are not fine. Things swirl all about me, though I try to shut them out. Let me see the hurt around me, to let myself feel it, so that I may give it to you. My fear and stress unacknowledged tempt me to sin against you. Help me, Lord."


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