Skip to main content

You Might Be A Christian If...

5. Someone says, "Proverbs 31," and you either lament your sad estate, or say, "I don't want to talk about the opposite sex right now."

4. You have ever been at a wedding, and wondered at its canonical validity. (Fullness of Truth/Ben Nguyen/Canon Law Bonus)

3. You shout out Scripture references at random, in conversations about other stuff.

2. Finish the phrase: "God is good..." (And no, the correct answer is not, "Give us the chocolate cake!" but I think Jesus does a great Cosby impression.)

1. You have ever wanted to slap the next person who says, "Sunday fun day!"

[Side-Rant: I'm not even a strict observer of the Sabbath in any form. Not even close. I won't judge you if you go out to eat, or watch the Super Bowl. But I'll tell you this: I'm fully aware when it's a Sunday. Sunday is the day the Lord Jesus rose from the dead for you and me. "Fun" just doesn't get it. I'm all for resting, too. That's the point. But let's get it straight: The least we could do is show up and say "Thank you." That's exactly what "Eucharist" means. And most of you reading this know better. That was easily the most scandalous post on the site "Stuff Christians Like": "Skipping Church on Sunday." Some muddle-headed evangelical had to be the first to think this was OK. I'm sorry. But not. If you have never flat-out skipped a sporting event--like a huge one--because God is God, then you have no right to wonder why your "unbelieving" family member(s) doesn't care about your "good news." That's the truth. Have I ever been guilty of this? Yes. One time. I had no legit reason. But never again. And as much as I push people about being separated from the Church, we all need to talk about this one even more.]
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My Thoughts On The Harrison Butker Commencement Speech

Update: I read the whole thing. I’m sorry, but what a weirdo. I thought you [Tom Darrow, of Denver, CO] made a trenchant case for why lockdowns are bad, and I definitely appreciated it. But a graduation speech is *not* the place for that. Secondly, this is an august event. It always is. I would never address the President of the United States in this manner. Never. Even the previous president, though he deserves it, if anyone does. Thirdly, the affirmations of Catholic identity should be more general. He has no authority to propound with specificity on all matters of great consequence. It has all the hallmarks of a culture war broadside, and again, a layman shouldn’t speak like this. The respect and reverence due the clergy is *always due,* even if they are weak, and outright wrong. We just don’t brush them aside like corrupt Mafia dons, to make a point. Fourthly, I don’t know where anyone gets the idea that the TLM is how God demands to be worshipped. The Church doesn’t teach that. ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Dear Alyse

 Today, you’re 35. Or at least you would be, in this place. You probably know this, but we’re OK. Not great, but OK. We know you wouldn’t want us moping around and weeping all the time. We try not to. Actually, I guess part of the problem is that you didn’t know how much we loved you. And that you didn’t know how to love yourself. I hope you have gotten to Love by now. Not a place, but fills everything in every way. I’m not Him, but he probably said, “Dear daughter/sister, you have been terribly hard on yourself. Rest now, and be at peace.” Anyway, teaching is going well, and I tell the kids all about you. They all say you are pretty. I usually can keep the boys from saying something gross for a few seconds. Mom and I are going to the game tonight. And like 6 more times, before I go back to South Carolina. I have seen Nicky twice, but I myself haven’t seen your younger kids. Bob took pictures of the day we said goodbye, and we did a family picture at the Abbey. I literally almost a...
Post a Comment
Read more

A Friend I Once Had, And The Dogmatic Principle

 I once had a friend, a dear friend, who helped me with personal care needs in college. Reformed Presbyterian to the core. When I was a Reformed Presbyterian, I visited their church many times. We were close. I still consider his siblings my friends. (And siblings in the Lord.) Nevertheless, when I began to consider the claims of the Catholic Church to be the Church Christ founded, he took me out to breakfast. He implied--but never quite stated--that we would not be brothers, if I sought full communion with the Catholic Church. That came true; a couple years later, I called him on his birthday, as I'd done every year for close to ten of them. He didn't recognize my number, and it was the most strained, awkward phone call I have ever had. We haven't spoken since. We were close enough that I attended the rehearsal dinner for his wedding. His wife's uncle is a Catholic priest. I remember reading a blog post of theirs, that early in their relationship, she told him of the p...
Post a Comment
Read more