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You Might Be A Christian If...

5. Someone says, "Proverbs 31," and you either lament your sad estate, or say, "I don't want to talk about the opposite sex right now."

4. You have ever been at a wedding, and wondered at its canonical validity. (Fullness of Truth/Ben Nguyen/Canon Law Bonus)

3. You shout out Scripture references at random, in conversations about other stuff.

2. Finish the phrase: "God is good..." (And no, the correct answer is not, "Give us the chocolate cake!" but I think Jesus does a great Cosby impression.)

1. You have ever wanted to slap the next person who says, "Sunday fun day!"

[Side-Rant: I'm not even a strict observer of the Sabbath in any form. Not even close. I won't judge you if you go out to eat, or watch the Super Bowl. But I'll tell you this: I'm fully aware when it's a Sunday. Sunday is the day the Lord Jesus rose from the dead for you and me. "Fun" just doesn't get it. I'm all for resting, too. That's the point. But let's get it straight: The least we could do is show up and say "Thank you." That's exactly what "Eucharist" means. And most of you reading this know better. That was easily the most scandalous post on the site "Stuff Christians Like": "Skipping Church on Sunday." Some muddle-headed evangelical had to be the first to think this was OK. I'm sorry. But not. If you have never flat-out skipped a sporting event--like a huge one--because God is God, then you have no right to wonder why your "unbelieving" family member(s) doesn't care about your "good news." That's the truth. Have I ever been guilty of this? Yes. One time. I had no legit reason. But never again. And as much as I push people about being separated from the Church, we all need to talk about this one even more.]
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