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It Just Is

The right moment for a prayer. The moment when sins become who you are is the moment you stop recognizing this moment, when your life becomes an endless stretch of Whatever. The "fallen away" Catholics aren't some weird species of leper; they are the people whose Grave Something became a whole series of them, and it's easier to kill the love inside than to face the shame.

You don't stop existing, you know. And most people know that they want to like themselves, and even that they're supposed to. So they have to construct a reality where they are happy, and where they are good. That's why the public space is so absurd: some people are trying really hard, and they have a lot of shame.

Anywhere there is self-made anything, Satan is behind it. You can't make yourself good; you can't try hard enough, or please God or anyone else in your own power. When you stop to pray, you are rhetorically answering the question, "Is this my reality, or God's?"

You have only one Friend in this entire universe who can deal with your guilt and shame. And by the way, point out when your guilt and shame is misguided. You may gather other friends around you, but chances are, they are in the same boat. Great. You can commiserate; all the way to Hell.

Just pick up the phone, as they say. Break the cycle.
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