Skip to main content

Process Of Elimination

There are times when the truth is just looking at you, waiting to be spoken aloud. It's going to hurt someone; someone may not want to look at it, whatever it is. I might be one of those crazy people who just doesn't assume that people lie, and hide things. I guess that's pretty stupid for a theologian. Dr. Greg House would mock me, I'm sure. Warning: This post may get uncomfortable.

Somebody spoke a truth to me, at least a potential truth, that I may want to ignore.

In dating and marriage, your disability could be an issue for women. No one wants to say it out loud, because who wants to be that girl? They might not even admit it to themselves.

I guess the thought of that hurt a little. I don't think that way. There's enough self-doubt floating around without adding this to it. So I don't think it. I don't expect my friends to feel this way. If I had a good friend who was a woman say it was true in her case, I'd be stunned, actually.

Would I feel judgmental or angry about it? I don't know. I wouldn't pursue marriage if I thought I was wholly unqualified. On the other hand, if you think I haven't been afraid of whether I could be a husband and father, I've got a bridge to sell you.

But everyone's afraid. I know that. That's human. It's normal, if you'll excuse the slur against my people. Ha!

I guess if we're already making people uncomfortable, I should just say it: There are no canonical impediments to my getting married. Everything works, as they say. Should I put this on a t-shirt, so the pious Catholic girls don't have to ask?

As for the first part, I get it, totally. I worry more than you do.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

My Thoughts On The Harrison Butker Commencement Speech

Update: I read the whole thing. I’m sorry, but what a weirdo. I thought you [Tom Darrow, of Denver, CO] made a trenchant case for why lockdowns are bad, and I definitely appreciated it. But a graduation speech is *not* the place for that. Secondly, this is an august event. It always is. I would never address the President of the United States in this manner. Never. Even the previous president, though he deserves it, if anyone does. Thirdly, the affirmations of Catholic identity should be more general. He has no authority to propound with specificity on all matters of great consequence. It has all the hallmarks of a culture war broadside, and again, a layman shouldn’t speak like this. The respect and reverence due the clergy is *always due,* even if they are weak, and outright wrong. We just don’t brush them aside like corrupt Mafia dons, to make a point. Fourthly, I don’t know where anyone gets the idea that the TLM is how God demands to be worshipped. The Church doesn’t teach that. ...

Dear Alyse

 Today, you’re 35. Or at least you would be, in this place. You probably know this, but we’re OK. Not great, but OK. We know you wouldn’t want us moping around and weeping all the time. We try not to. Actually, I guess part of the problem is that you didn’t know how much we loved you. And that you didn’t know how to love yourself. I hope you have gotten to Love by now. Not a place, but fills everything in every way. I’m not Him, but he probably said, “Dear daughter/sister, you have been terribly hard on yourself. Rest now, and be at peace.” Anyway, teaching is going well, and I tell the kids all about you. They all say you are pretty. I usually can keep the boys from saying something gross for a few seconds. Mom and I are going to the game tonight. And like 6 more times, before I go back to South Carolina. I have seen Nicky twice, but I myself haven’t seen your younger kids. Bob took pictures of the day we said goodbye, and we did a family picture at the Abbey. I literally almost a...

A Friend I Once Had, And The Dogmatic Principle

 I once had a friend, a dear friend, who helped me with personal care needs in college. Reformed Presbyterian to the core. When I was a Reformed Presbyterian, I visited their church many times. We were close. I still consider his siblings my friends. (And siblings in the Lord.) Nevertheless, when I began to consider the claims of the Catholic Church to be the Church Christ founded, he took me out to breakfast. He implied--but never quite stated--that we would not be brothers, if I sought full communion with the Catholic Church. That came true; a couple years later, I called him on his birthday, as I'd done every year for close to ten of them. He didn't recognize my number, and it was the most strained, awkward phone call I have ever had. We haven't spoken since. We were close enough that I attended the rehearsal dinner for his wedding. His wife's uncle is a Catholic priest. I remember reading a blog post of theirs, that early in their relationship, she told him of the p...