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Don't Give Me What I Want

Have you ever been watching a show, or heard a song where someone said, "God Bless America" or something similar? It should make the pious heart uncomfortable, but not because there is anything wrong with a certain patriotism. Instead, we are made uncomfortable because we know that God is bigger than whatever we imagine to be truly majestic, noble, or otherwise worth preserving.

God is Being as such. If you perfectly understand that which you worship, it is not God you worship. If God perfectly agrees with you on every matter, you're not talking with God. I get the sense from some people that God is more like a powerful, benevolent pet dog, instead of the Almighty.

As for us, we don't make sense to ourselves. You might be hung up some way, and lamenting that you'll never get out of some situation, or stop doing x, but it's not really about that thing, is it? We need to open up to God, tell him what we fear, because that's what's really holding us back. We theologians have a saying: You can't give what you don't have. No one should ever say in any final way, "I need to be more loving, etc." because you cannot simply flip a switch, and be what you are not. We need God to fill us. We need to experience Him, and then we can share from the overflow of His abundance.

The worst parts of ourselves are right on top. True, a lot of people spend a lot of energy appearing to be good on the surface. Yet our instincts are never far. "I need a drink," "I need pie," and the like are pretty obvious. Ever wondered what's underneath?

Underneath are the great desires, which all boil down to one: to know, and to be known by the only One who matters. Once we start talking to God, He uncovers these desires, and lets them run free.

Indeed, Lord, do not give me what I think I want, for what I think I want is far less than what You know is for my good.

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