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An Odd Day And Night

I went to McDonald's in the afternoon. I wanted to enjoy something greasy and appalling before I went to Mass. As it happened, I had to go to Reconciliation first. I booked it away from the McDonald's at 3:36 PM, and I arrived in line at 3:50 PM.

I only had to wait a couple of minutes, and I had intended to stay for Mass, but in that moment I had no desire to wait around for the celebration. I knew that I should make it back before dark, because rolling in a wheelchair isn't terribly safe in the daylight, and less so at night. When I looked at my clock at home, it was 4:30. I knew we had a couple of hours before the results came in from the South Carolina Democratic presidential primary. I knew that former Vice President Biden would win, but I don't think anyone knew it would be as big a win as it turned out to be. I'm thrilled for Joe, and I'm thrilled for the Democratic Party--as far as it goes--because I do think that he's their best chance to win.

I turned on Columbo, one of the ones from the late '80s. The killer was a sketchy dude with an ex-wife and two mistresses. At this moment, I'm not even sure how Columbo caught the guy. I'd have to go back and watch it a couple more times. At least one of the women reminded me that I'm a normal, red-blooded man. An odd feeling, that.

Then I went over to a friend's place to watch the returns come in from South Carolina. We watched it on MSNBC. In recent months, it hasn't been nearly as liberal as it was before. Oddly enough, perhaps it is all those Never Trump Republicans they kept bringing in. Sitting in a certain place, that might as well be liberal, but not sitting in mine. I flipped the channel briefly to see the Blues win the hockey game in a shootout over Dallas. We probably watched the MSNBC coverage until just short of 11 o'clock, and over 99% of the vote had come in by that time. I was wound up, so I didn't go to bed.

I remembered that I had added "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?" to my Netflix queue. I remembered the things I loved about it, and I remembered the things I hated about it, but I decided in any case that it's worth it for Katharine Hepburn. I've always been charmed by her niece, Katharine Houghton, who plays Joey Drayton. And of course, Sidney Poitier will never let us down. When I got to the end, I was sad. I wasn't made sad by anything in the story per se, but I remember the feeling of being "in love," and the two young leads portray that very well. Truthfully though, I am no John Prentice, so I felt a little down for a few minutes after the film was over. I knew that the adventures of Capt. Picard and the Enterprise would cheer me up. True to form, I fell asleep somewhere in there. The true things remain true, even if we get down for one reason or another. When I woke up today, those negative thoughts didn't stick.

I'm still me, but me is different somehow. I have to believe that God has a purpose for everything in my life, not only the things that are positive and joyous. Perhaps the enemy wanted to know if my faith was genuine, so he asked permission, just as he did in the case of Job.

I could be wrong, but I sense that prayer is the means to achieve what I truly desire at the core of my being. I desire to know, and be known. When we first begin with God, he rewards us for right conduct and good decisions, so that we continue to do those things. A firm faith sustains us when God sees fit to reward us no longer when we do good things. All of us have surface desires, for food and other pleasures. Most people are easy to distract this way. The desire to delve more deeply into God is stronger than the sensible desire; it's simply harder to discern. Jesus, lover of my soul, take me deeper into your Sacred Heart. Give me the gift of a wild love for you that never ceases.

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