I stopped in the neighborhood church today. Today was the day that they decided to test the fire alarm in my apartment building, so I would rather be in a church. I can't remember what hymn was being played, but as it turns out, the organist likes to practice, when he thinks no one is there. For an entire hour, it was the same hymn. I wish I could remember, but I know it was about the love of Jesus. Then again, aren't they all supposed to be about the love of Jesus?
As I sat there, a friend found me, and he said, "Don't you get curious about the hidden places in here?" Or something like that. I said that I did, and that one time years ago, I got to see "in the back", where most ordinary folks don't get to go. I said I had the feeling that I shouldn't be back here, and he said, "You're an institution; you belong here." That was a very kind thing to say, but when did I become an institution?
I only know that it was a joy to rest in the presence of Christ, and if I am known as the guy who rests in the presence of Christ, you could do worse. We have been losing people lately, and I have realized that some of the people we are losing are the people who greeted me when I was a visitor, over a decade ago. I have been a member of this church for a decade. I didn't live in the neighborhood for a decade, but then again, it sort of feels like I did.
I am starting to understand that even if we feel like we are superfluous, we are not. There are people who come to find me on Saturdays and Sundays at church, just to chat. I don't even think most of the time that I know their names. I'm pretty sure they don't know mine. But it doesn't matter; I'm the guy in the front.
I suppose that some of us have an exaggerated view of our own importance, but I have often thought, "What if I'm the guy who keeps them going, just one more week?" I really don't know if I'm actually that good at inconsequential chit-chat, and if I'm honest, I do not prefer it. But it sure seems like the thing I am supposed to do.
This pandemic has been awfully tough; I don't think it is for me to say that a certain way of bearing up under it is right or wrong, especially if all that is being asked of me is polite conversation. I daresay that people are encouraged, when they see me. I have to chuckle at that, because sometimes, I need to borrow that encouragement!
I want to offer my dissatisfaction with small frustrations as a little gift to the Lord, because my friends and I often share a chuckle about those same frustrations. "I waited a little late to eat that piece of beef, and I was having dreams you wouldn't believe!" "You know, I didn't sleep so great this week. I wonder what that's all about?" I do believe we serve a God of the little things. Maybe the little things are the big things.
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