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I have a Facebook account, (it remains the more attractive option for non-teens in the social-networking world) and an application within it called ‘iLike’ that allows you to do various music-related things. It pleasantly informed me (as per my instructions) that Mariah Carey would be releasing an album in March, 2008 called, “Rainbow.” I said, “Wait, didn’t she already release an album by that name in 2000?” I clicked on the Amazon link, and sure enough, it redirected to the old album. Why don’t you just admit, iLike, that you have no idea what the new album in called? I wasted an entire 5 minutes of my life unraveling that mystery! Well, you wasted half your life listening to Mariah Carey.—ed. Touche! But if you had gone through the “I want to be ‘Black’” phase that every suburban white kid does (with no more than a quizzical curiosity about gangsta rap) you’d listen to MC as well. You’re still in that phase, aren’t you?—ed. Be quiet about that! Disclaimer: I in no wise endorse Ms. Carey’s annoying tendency to rip her clothes off in videos. Carey was a musical gateway to less ‘white’ soul/R&B music, like this cat Kenneth ‘Babyface’ Edmonds, (The Man, in case you’re wondering) so I’m indebted to her. (Her early stuff especially rules anyway, IMO.) Her new single sucks, though; it’s trampy and not even catchy. Oh, well. Mr. Edmonds put out this song. I love this guy, but it shows you how much divorce is the devil’s work when the best (pop) songwriter of the last two decades can’t take the sting off it.

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