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5 Humorous Self-Observations

5. I'm drinking in every one of my Facebook photos.

4. I can manipulate pixellated facsimilies of professional athletes for 9 hours, but I can't read philosophy for 5 minutes.

3. I can sing like Smokey Robinson when no one is around, but I sound like a wounded frog in church. [It's those horrid Catholic hymns.--ed.]

2. I'm probably the only person in America whose presidential voting history goes Bush-Bush-Obama-Santorum (God-willing).

1. I can remember Ozzie Smith's batting average from 1987, (.303) but I can't remember where I put my keys.

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