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Dude, It's Cold

5. Stay inside!

4. The precipitation may not be too bad, but look out, New England! This monster is coming for you!

3. I will happily teach Catechism in the Bahamas, Father.

2. Speaking of New England, Tom Brady is so hot right now. Tom Brady.

1. Alright, I'm coming out of my Patriots closet: I root for the Patriots when the Rams aren't involved. Sue me. Excursus to follow. Camera 3. [turns]

[Rant] Look, people. I get it. The Patriots are evil. They've been consistently great since 2001, and it's obnoxious. They won 3 Super Bowls, and lost in 2 others. Then, they cheated by videotaping other teams when they practice. That didn't help the rep. Fair enough. But I love what they do. They collect players other teams gave up on, and they turn them into champions. Even the year they missed the playoffs by some stupid fluke, they won 11 of their 16 games, without Tom Brady, who'd blown out his knee. Are you seeing this? Do you remember when they were the underdogs in 2001? I do. I'm from St. Louis; how could I forget? I was so upset about it, I named my fantasy team "Death to the Patriots!" But I know excellence when I see it.

On the other hand, they are not sentimental; they are ruthless in personnel decisions; if you become a star playing for New England, you will not be rewarded. They believe they can replace any player, and they've done it, over and over. It's really hard not to admire what they do. I'm supposed to hate them? Why? Because they win? I wish other teams feared the Rams; we had a good 3 year run there, but we caught lightning in a bottle; it's not a culture of excellence yet. Not like the Patriots. Maybe they will fall off when Brady or Coach Belichick retire, but I wouldn't bet on it. I know what it's like when whole generations of fans get used to winning; like I said, I'm from St. Louis. Once it happens, it changes a whole sports city. Boston and surrounding locales will never again watch a dreadfully bad Patriots team, unless it were to fall into the hands of buffoons. A bad year here or there? Maybe. The butt of jokes? Not on your life.

I'm a contrarian; if you tell me that all decent people do x, I'm going to wonder what the decent people are missing out on. I like the Patriots; I'm sorry. But not.

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