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5 Tasty Morsels

5. Dear Heroic Fighter of Communism, I will be happy to read your book...for something less than $175. [You just didn't want to spell his name, did you?--ed.] Guilty.

4. I can't really spell "Gulag Archipelago," either.

3. Do you think What's-his-name would have enjoyed Kenny Loggins in a less-intense version of his life?

2. I wonder if John Paul the Great liked Kenny Loggins? [Seriously, what's with you and Kenny Loggins?--ed.] He's awesome.

1. If I were not white, and therefore disqualified from speaking on any matter of consequence involving race [sarcasm]--unless I parroted the usual progressive nonsense about my unworthiness to speak--I'd say the Los Angeles Clippers are a bunch of cowards. Sure, change your socks! Put on a hoodie again! Your courageous ineffectual symbolism will destroy racism forever!
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