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It's Not Strong To Hold It In

There are people in this world governed by their passions, even if not the obvious ones. I might even say I could use, or could have used, some balance and decorum at times. A man without reason is dangerous indeed.

The truth is, though, I don't trust people who don't feel, who don't express something sometimes. I shouldn't, and neither should you. Physical and moral evil is not theoretical, it's as real as you or me, in a certain sense, and we know that we are flawed if we fail to notice. Some are more Spock than Kirk, and that's fine. If we are healthy though, we weep when we should weep, and we laugh when we should laugh.

You don't "get over" losing a parent. (I don't know about losing a child, but I trust that's true as well.) You don't "heal" from those things; the mercy is greater and more painful than that. You carry it around with you. You can't simply endure it, either; it's a thing that is part of who you are. Yes, you get the strength to go forward, and you should. But I am always the son of Rick, the nephew of Jim, et cetera. I am the one who lives with them absent. That's how irreplaceable we are: we leave holes that can never be filled. Not here.

Weep in your own way, but weep. Rejoice in your own way, but rejoice. One of the glories of the gospel is the promise that all which is not right will be set right again, even if it is in our own hearts. I pray for the grace to feel, if and when necessary.

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