Skip to main content

Patience, Revisited

There's a parish near my house a little closer than the one where I attend Mass. I often liked to go there for Confession, because I had a very holy priest friend who served there. He's not there anymore, but it's a beautiful church in many ways, despite being new in construction, relatively speaking.

It starts earlier in the day than our Reconciliation time, and that's nice, also. I saw ten or twelve folks ahead of me, so I didn't worry.

I should have; it seemed to take forever. Their vigil Mass starts right after the time, and I thought I may miss out. Besides that, each one seemed to take a long time. I kept looking at the crucifix; I wanted the Lord to know that I was sorry, that my eyes of faith and my heart saw things clearly. I want to agree with the Lord about reality, and I always do, even if my walk tells me I have moments of doubt.

That's what a sin is, ultimately: a freely chosen moment of unbelief, after a fashion. Suppose--and you may correctly suppose--I never doubt the dogmas of our faith. It may be said that I possess the theological virtue of faith. (I might even say I possess it in large measure, thanks be to God.) But a failure of obedience is a sin against charity, against supernatural love.

I am thankful that we do not lose faith, even if we sin against charity, even mortally. How might we find our way back, if we could not assent to what is true at all? Think of this: the first step of repentance is to agree with God that what we have done or failed to do is contrary to what God has revealed. So, to possess the belief of demons per St. James, it may be precisely correct concerning the supernatural, but it lacks charity, or agape.

When St. John talks about "believing," he means the assent-action synergy, let's call it. St. Paul and St. James believe that constitutes salvation, too, but those two distinguish between living faith and dead faith a little more explicitly, because they have to, pastorally speaking. John mainly wants us to know that Jesus is the one in whom we should hope.

I won't bore you with another Protestant-Catholic theology lecture, though it could become that, and it's important. Rather, I simply find that I'm asking the Lord to increase my love. I have no problem knowing anything in this realm, but whether I love Him enough to keep His commands is ever the question.

In Matthew 7:21, when the Lord replies, "Away from me, you evildoers, I never knew you," in one sense, it may be slightly much to say he meant, "I never loved you," since He ever loves. But, it is right I think, for us to read it mentally, "you never loved me." The remarkable thing about grace is that it makes us--feeble, dusty us--friends with God. It's a miracle to behold; even those who will fail to persevere are doing a thing that is not proper to their nature by itself to do: rightly confessing Him as Lord. Yet may we not only confess Christ, but love him. I believe; help my unbelief!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

We Don't Need No Magisterium: (Jason's Version) (But Actually, We Do)

Hilarious Com-Box Quote of The Day: "I was caught immediately because it is the Acts of the Apostles, not the Acts of the Holy Spirit Acting Erratically."--Donald Todd, reacting to the inartful opposition of the Holy Spirit and the Magisterium. Mark Galli, an editor at Christianity Today, had suggested that today's "confusion" in evangelicalism replicates a confusion on the day of Pentecost. Mr. Todd commented after this reply , and the original article is here. My thoughts: By what means was this Church-less "consensus" formed? If the Council did not possess the authority to adjudicate such questions, who does? If the Council Fathers did not intend to be the arbiters, why do they say that they do? At the risk of being rude, I would define evangelicalism as, "Whatever I want or need to believe at any particular time." Ecclesial authority to settle a particular question is a step forward, but only as long as, "God alone is Lord of the con...

Dear Alyse

 Today, you’re 35. Or at least you would be, in this place. You probably know this, but we’re OK. Not great, but OK. We know you wouldn’t want us moping around and weeping all the time. We try not to. Actually, I guess part of the problem is that you didn’t know how much we loved you. And that you didn’t know how to love yourself. I hope you have gotten to Love by now. Not a place, but fills everything in every way. I’m not Him, but he probably said, “Dear daughter/sister, you have been terribly hard on yourself. Rest now, and be at peace.” Anyway, teaching is going well, and I tell the kids all about you. They all say you are pretty. I usually can keep the boys from saying something gross for a few seconds. Mom and I are going to the game tonight. And like 6 more times, before I go back to South Carolina. I have seen Nicky twice, but I myself haven’t seen your younger kids. Bob took pictures of the day we said goodbye, and we did a family picture at the Abbey. I literally almost a...

Who Is Out Here Having Sex And Children With People They Don’t Like?

 And look, I’m not married. I’ve never been married. I have no children. I didn’t choose that; things just worked out that way. If you must know, I haven’t had sexual intercourse either. I probably should say “coitus,” so I am not arguing with some progressive activist about what “sexual intercourse” means. But I figured out from influencer videos or something what a “dead bedroom” was. Unless a couple mutually agrees that they don’t want to have sex/coitus anymore (hopefully to pray and serve) this is usually bad. I’ve known enough couples that it’s probably an indicator of trouble, especially for couples who are still able to have children. Is it really that wild to at least hope that Mr. and Mrs. Vance love each other? That a fourth child yet born at least might indicate that they enjoy each other?  Children are definitely not responsible for their parents’ happiness. That’s absolutely true. But wouldn’t any child hope their parents were happy, when they came into being? As...