Safe Haven

"We're just here to be memories for our kids." That's how I remember the line, anyway. And it hits me with so much power, because I completely understand what that means. I heard a friend of mine once apologize to his son for all his mistakes, and I'll never forget what the son said in reply: "I only remember that you loved me, Dad." In the film, the powerful scene in Murph's bedroom is book-ended by an aged Murph answering the question of how she held out hope for so long: "Because my dad promised me." Greydanus gave the film a mildly negative review, but describing it as having genuinely affective character development. You don't say! It reminds us to be who we're supposed to be, relying on God's mercy for the rest.

I'm a Trekkie, always have been, always will be. But in light of the new Star Wars movie out, I have had a chance to watch the original trilogy, and most of the prequels, excluding Episode I. The thing that strikes me the most is the tragedy of the fall of Anakin Skywalker. We're supposed to like him, and we do. When the great Sir Alec Guinness as Obi-Wan Kenobi tells us Luke's father was "a great Jedi, and a good friend," that needs to have weight behind it, and I have to say, the prequels accomplish that well. What that brings about is clarity regarding the end of Episode VI, Return of the Jedi. This is not a wholly evil, static character; this is a man in slavery to sin, and to the emperor. His gradual loss was subtle. It's realistic. It's easier to think evil people just are; it's more unsettling to realize becoming evil involves a series of little capitulations. Just think: an entire civil war begins, because one powerful Jedi knight turns to ...

It's my brother's 35th birthday. 3 years ago yesterday, we lost Jenny O'Reilly to leukemia. I didn't know her well, but I wanted to. She was the kind of person who inspires the fiercest loyalty, and it's entirely legitimate. Maybe only the good really do die young. We should make a fuss about birthdays, as much as possible. Death is so capricious, you know. We may not get the chance. It's Jenny's birthday, too. Someone said she wanted to celebrate that one with Jesus. I wouldn't put it past her. Heaven is the birthday party that never ends. End of discussion. Atheism sucks, for the mere fact that the pale shadow of things here is supposed to suffice. We know it won't. Sports leagues don't take years off, precisely because they are the closest thing to perpetual joy the human heart knows, outside of God. Worth a thought.

Remember when "race-baiting demagogue" used to be Al Sharpton? Remember when we could credibly claim liberals were guided by emotion, instead of reason? Those were the days. How ridiculous and unserious does someone have to be, before we stop listening? Somewhere, someone confused contrarianism with conservatism. As long as somebody appears to hate the "right" people, it's kosher. What? There is always a market in the age of new media for a dissenting view. The trouble is, we've got to know the difference between going against the grain of the conventional wisdom, and going against reality. There will always be someone who disagrees with what "respectable" people say. The problem today is, we didn't assume that person was right, just because they exist, and now it seems we do. I hear this chatter that we're going to "make America great again." America has been great this whole time. The people who made America great came to ...

I went to Mass this afternoon. It's cold today, but I was glad to go back. Between being sick, and the rain, I was only able to go when required. I saw some people, I prayed, and then as I stayed near the Lord for a few moments, a woman wished me a Merry Christmas. After that, she put her hand on my head as if to bless me--a completely Catholic thing to do--and said, "Thank you, Jesus." Later, I walked over to the office, where I am creating the post you are now reading. The receptionist said to me, "You're always a ray of sunshine when you come over. I love it!" "Aww, thanks," I said, "you are, too!" Lord Jesus, I give you the peace and joy of this day. Have mercy on us, and on the whole world.

I wish you were here. I think you'd like my friends. I can hear you and John saying that a man with true friends can make it through anything. I try to be like you to this day. There isn't much I remember, but I know you're the kind of man who gets mourned by people you fired. You're the kind of man who makes mistakes, but gets second, third, and fourth chances, because people know a good heart when they see one. I pray for you often. Funny thing is, in the Church, I feel closer to you each day. I think you might reconsider a few things, knowing what you know now. John said you thought church people were hypocrites and liars. I knew I'd find a place to fit in! The pain is less now, because I've done everything you would have hoped. I hope I'm like you: a man people are glad to know. I don't wonder what you'd think, because I know. A son rests easy, knowing his father is proud. You'll have to forgive me, though: I still can't root for th...

"O Holy Night" owns me. By far, it's my favorite Christmas song. Not bad for an apostate and a Jew, eh? (If the stories of its provenance are true.) It's so powerful, it need not even be performed with distinction to move the spirit. If you have followed the blog at all, you may have noticed that I choose a phrase from this song every year at this time. If faith, hope, and love we have in any measure, we confess that He alone is Lord, and there is no other. No state of affairs, no injustice stands, when and where He is king. The next time you are invited to open your heart to Jesus, realize what it means: it's a coup d'etat. The cross is the shape of His love, and being found in the likeness of human flesh--as a baby, no less--is the shape of His empathy. I doubt a conquered people have ever been so dignified, in the history of mankind. This is what Jesus wants to do. The question comes to us, "Will you surrender?" Yet in this surrender is victo...

There just happened to be a guy, working with another mobility company, who just happened to have the cable I needed. At this point, I'm not even surprised. The worse it looks, the more certain it will be an expression of the Lord's faithfulness. You can take it to the bank. How many times would I worry, trying to control things out of my control? We can get in a bad way spiritually really fast, when we are anxious. That's why God says not to be anxious about 500 times. Learning to trust Him is the hardest lesson.

My power wheelchair broke last night. The joystick. That seems important. I guess I lose track of how many little things God providentially holds together. I'm not much, humanly speaking, without my wheelchair. Well, make the best of it, and give thanks for those friends that hold me up.

You can hear and read "Do not be anxious about anything..." any number of times, and still not possess what you are looking for. It's not about knowing St. Paul's letter to the Philippians, or any number of other texts. Instead, the question is whether I believe God is bigger than whatever troubles me. So, when I pray, I should ask God to increase my trust in His goodness and wisdom. I may or may not be relieved of any burden, but I will see its lightness, in comparison with God. I will fear no evil, for you are with me. Side-Bar: Yes, Muslims and Christians worship the same God. As I understand the explanations of the philosophers, if Christians and Muslims agree that the Creator is the God who revealed Himself to Abraham, then the referent is the same. The two groups do not agree on what He revealed subsequently, nor on the import of that content, but there were not two separate gods who spoke to Abraham. At the least, we have a basis for discussion, since the...

The Holy Spirit. I'm continually surprised by what he does, and to whom he bestows his gifts. Well, at least the measure of the gifts. Sometimes we forget He is a Person of the Blessed Trinity. We forget he loves us, as does the Father, and the Lord Jesus. There is a lot of stuff in the theology of the Church, in our myriad devotions, and countless other things. Let us never forget, however, that this is a love story between God and his people. God and us. I realize the great gift of the practice of pastoral theology: I get to tell the story as many different ways as possible.

Certain joyless scolds feel compelled to remind us that the 240-odd members of the Republican House caucus are not all orthodox Catholics. Really? Hold on, I have to sit down. Even the Jesus-loving, Bible-thumping Protestants aren't going to ordinarily fuss about Planned Parenthood regarding contraception. Even if 80 members were willing to die on that hill, it would go nowhere. You need 218 votes to pass anything. How many good things would you be willing to sacrifice in an omnibus bill to prove your Catholic fidelity? I fully understand that the Republican Party is out of step with the social doctrine of the Catholic Church. So are the Democrats. I could sit on the sidelines, morally preening about that, or I can fight for the best articulation of those principles as I can. If you don't think participation in the political process is fruitful, you should just say that, and talk about something else. I don't have a burning urge to tell other people they are failures. A...

Really, I just wanted the more impressionable among you to listen to Carrie Underwood for an hour. Ha! But seriously, the whole thing hints at an important truth: it's not about believing things God revealed with a special intensity--though that's good, too--it's about surrendering to God. I'm hoping that as my life goes on, my faith is not something I hold on to in spite of trials, but I see them all as vindications of His wisdom and goodness. I guess that's easy for me to say. My life hasn't been hard, comparatively speaking. If getting to Heaven were like playing The Oregon Trail, God made me the banker. I truly don't want to get to the end of my life and say, "Oh, yeah. I was a Christian, too." I want to say, "I did Your will, I carried the cross, and I had fun, too."

This is a phrase I use a lot. Most people do, when there are multiple things to do, and maybe you are meeting someone in the midst of it. "I'll just do [such and such] really quick, and I'll see you over there at 5:30, cool?" I don't do anything really quickly. I should just stop saying it. Better yet, I should stop believing that I will be able, or it is wise to move faster doing anything today than it was yesterday. That's not the way it works with a disability. And I'm sure being old, or having health problems works the same way. Some say it teaches me patience. I would like to think so. But the battle to see everything through the eyes of Christ takes place on the strangest fields. I don't feel very patient, when I drop something I can't pick up. Or when I can't grab something I want to hold. I become very conscious that in fact I am disabled. I ask stupid questions like, "Why is this so hard?" or petulantly assert, "This...

I won't recap it for you; you can watch or read at your convenience. What deeply concerns me is the lack of a coherent ethical framework through which we examine problems. In that sense, though many or all of the people on the stage could be people of good will, they will find themselves reacting, instead of deliberating. The most overriding Christian principle, the one that animates every facet of human knowledge, both natural and supernatural, is the dignity of the human person. We start and end here, precisely because humankind's destiny lies with God, whose very image man is. In light of that reality, this foreign policy debate was a shambles. Certain actions would be out of bounds by their very nature. Indiscriminate bombing of whole cities, with a near-certainty of large civilian casualties, cannot be done. And the mere suggestion that the deliberate killing of non-combatants might be acceptable is abhorrent. I take the time to put it in Christian terms, because so many...

I still have a great abiding love for our American political process, and for affairs of state in general. It's very easy to be cynical, or even downcast, because so little seems to be trending toward statesmanship, foresight, and courage. I have always said that if I ever sought office, I am committed to plainly stating what I really believe, by God's help, unconcerned with what honesty would cost. Nuance is often required, in order to fully appreciate all the costs and benefits of one thing or another. Also, when one tries to meaningfully interact with those who disagree, or who might, it shows respect for them, and for legitimate questions they have. Still, I believe that the greatest aid to clarity, to principle, and to learning is to answer a direct question with a direct answer. Let qualifications and the like be appended like notes to the frank reply to a "yes/no" question. How much disappointment would this alleviate? I think a lot. I realized the day I...

I was sort of lurking on Confirmation Sponsor Guy's Facebook post today, and he shared his thoughts and feelings about hearing a Muslim colleague talk about anti-Muslim bigotry since the attack in California. I was moved second-hand, so I can only imagine how stirring that was for him. The main reason I have no reason to fear Muslims is that God is God. Whenever we have a somewhat    scary moment in the car, or whatever you like, I have a funny saying: "It's been a good run." It sounds  a bit flippant in mother's ears at times, but beyond the humor of it, there is real truth: we are not in control of our lives. I could die before I finish this post. We don't know. All that we can do is be near to God in the present moment. I lost my father in a moment. I lost another man who stood in for him in a moment. My high school friend, James. Death can't be the worst thing. I know. Never to have loved, and therefore, never to have lived, is the worst outcome of ...

I was deeply moved by this . I know the truth, and I'm not ashamed of it. If straight-up Catholicism arouses actual opposition from those who should defend it, like the saints, I should rather suffer for my piety than make others suffer in my display of it. All the clergy can know they are in my prayers, in any case. Father, give us holy priests! Moreover, give us teachable hearts. If it pleases You, may we have filial affection for those in authority over us, as it accords with holiness. Through Our Lord Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever, Amen.

There are days when the spiritual practices you've been doing just don't appeal. I didn't want to go to Mass. I don't have to go. But seen from another angle, maybe I do. Spiritual progress doesn't just happen. If I think that it has anything to do with me, and not the Lord, uniquely present in the Eucharist, I am mistaken. If my friend wasn't sick, we'd have walked there like we always do. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Once you know what a war you are in, you don't say, "Oh, that'd be nice" in reference to daily Mass. You start counting the hours until the next Eucharist.

Bitterness and love are opposed. The former destroys the latter. If any of us think we have a right to hold resentment in our hearts, as if against me, and me only have they sinned, we will never find peace. When real injustice has been done, though, it leaves a wound. You can definitely forgive, by the mercy of God. But that wound needs a special grace of the Holy Spirit, and it doesn't usually come right away. We can start really living as children of God once we know deeply that the sins against us often lie, and that those lies have never been true, whatever they say about us.