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5. This Newman dude is like a punch in the face. He'd make little Johnny Edwards cry. The sermon should have been called, "Schismatics in the Hands of an Angry Cardinal."

4. OK, Pirates. This is the part where you start losing. No matter; we're gonna have the division title, the home field, and a World Series ring. All with a bunch of rookies.

3. A blogger with no internet is like a boxer with no arms.

2. Please beat Mayweather, Canelo. Please? I'm really tired of hearing how great he is, considering he is just a big-mouthed ducker of the good fights and fighters.

1. I think I hate divorce as much as God does, if that were possible. No, I will not be happy for you when you "move on" to "find happiness" or some such lunacy. I'll pray that you find mercy and pardon.

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