Safe Haven

When I was a teenager, one popular TV character would see advertisements for a show called, "Sick, Sad World." The protagonist wanted you to see everything with as much irony and cynicism as she did. And it's not far off the mark. We could give each other a million examples. The good we're supposed to have, juxtaposed with what humanity seems to settle for could shatter the heart of any reasonable person. To be frank about it, in just this last year, I've had enough suffering and mourning for a lifetime, if it was my call. It isn't, but in case you were curious, now you know. And maybe I'm the wrong sort of person to write what I'm about to write. I'm not exactly known for melancholy. Still, it comes to this: I think the Christian mission behind the mission will be to convince the world that this cosmos we live in is good. The whole world is screaming, "Who cares? Life sucks and then you die!" even while their souls vibrate with the t...

Happy Thanksgiving! Catholics pray too fast. I want to shake them in public prayer. The leadership wants to know why many don't interiorize their faith; it's because you permit them to say our devotionals a thousand miles an hour. The vocal part is only the exterior; mental prayer is what matters. Converts will tell you if you're praying too fast; in general, you're praying too fast. And before some uppity cradle Catholics get all bent out of shape about the converts thinking they know everything, chill. I didn't propose a change to the Mass; I'm just telling you, if this is about our hearts, you're not even letting them in. See, one great thing about the separated brethren is that, whether they're doing exactly what they should do, or taking a hacksaw to the faith once delivered, in any case, it's ALL FOR JESUS. I can't say I've never lost my focus in prayer. And if you have a plan to do something, do it, even if you don't feel lik...

Writers write. That's what they say. And fighters fight. You can't chase someone else's imagination of what you're supposed to be. You've gotta be what you are. And if you stay beyond the place where your skills win the day, hopefully you've got that pride, the pride that still earns respect when you come up short. The sun shines a different color when you are bound only to yourself and God. The lines on your face are from laughter, because you seek out joy, instead of thinking it's owed to you. But think how much energy people waste trying to convince other people everything is fine. If there's a weight on your soul, a drinking buddy who doesn't know you from a hole in the ground isn't going to help. Have you hung around a place like that, when only the most obtuse person would easily conclude that these people have nothing to live for? We're not talking about some friends celebrating a promotion; we're talking about blotting the rea...

It's time to restart my Plan of Life. It's not a great existential thing; it's a phrase that describes a generally set way to pray and live each day in order to reach maximum holiness. On the other hand, what's more existential than that? A little piece of advice from the spiritual hinterlands: If you get an idea to change the plan, and it didn't come from your spiritual director, there is an 84.2 percent chance that it came from Satan. That was a terrible month! And we know the reason now, don't we? Even though immaterial beings are not composed of matter by definition, there should be no doubt that Satan is a piece of crap. He will do anything to pull us away from God, leave us lonely, confused, and chained to our sins. You thought you had me, didn't you? Yeah, well, I don't think so. I may go to Confession soon, just to spite the monster. But that is what the old priest had said: God speaks quieter. I should have remembered Elisha. It's true...

I willingly went to a funeral today for the first time in 23 years. I lost my father in 1989. Three years later, I ended up at the funeral for my grandfather's sister. I fell apart completely. I had to leave. I had a firm determination never to do that again. But earlier this week, I found out that my dear friend Carol (Confirmation Sponsor Lady) had lost her mother. She and her husband know that I'd do anything for them. Of course I have to go. Just tell me when to show up. If I can get a little sentimental here, I don't think either of them realizes how special they are to me. And I'm not the only one. Dad understands my reticence all this time, but I know he'd tell me to go, too. If I can take a moment and try to describe what it's like to lose a parent, I'll do my best, and I hope you're still with me. It's like falling down in a well or a hole. The darkness is your anguish, but there is no floor. Somehow, time pulls you out, and you go on...

Death is all around us. In neither takes imagination or great vision to notice. And it's fundamentally wrong, though it is commonplace. At this point, it'd be easy to say, "How horrible! Come, Lord Jesus!" and move on. But we can't. We've got to think through some things. You know, we weren't supposed to die at all. Death came through sin. On the other hand, that gift of immortality was just that, a gift, and one above our nature, at that. (Contra Crazy Uncle Marty and others) God somehow saw fit to pair an immortal soul with a mortal body, and to keep them together in redemption. Thus ends the theology lesson for the day. Except to say that the mortal will become elevated, and not the other way around. Wasn't it always one of those baffling Bible mysteries that Jesus waited for Lazarus to die, knew he was going to raise him, and cried anyway ? If the God-man who is the perfect man wept, maybe the hope of Heaven isn't meant to be the only answe...

I have to confess openly that I do not understand redemption. I could not possibly know the depth of God's love for me and all of us. But to be moving in the right direction is to say that you want to know. You want to grow. I came to realize today that it's easy for the cares of this life and desires to get in the way of loving God. [That's not news, dummy.--ed.] Well, it was to me. How was RCIA, by the way? [Horrible. These people are way too happy. And this woman was certainly trying to bribe us with cookies.--ed.] I hate it when she does that. I mean, I love it. I mean, I don't want to get fat, but in the moment, I can't seem to care. [So they are sinful, then.--ed.] Simmer down, Calvinist. [I'd like an answer to the question.--ed.] No, the cookies are not sinful, you world-hating dualist. [You should talk.--ed.] You're doomed, you know. If you keep going, you're Catholic. It's probably already over. [Shut up. I'm not weak and emotional l...

I can't shake this feeling--or this snarky opinion--that everything is infected with relativism, like a disease. I mean, honestly. And you can't even say, "even among evangelicals," because that word is the epitome of the problem. And don't even get me started on politics. This is the relativist's favorite playground. The only thing you have to do is say, "Well, we don't live for this world" or "Jesus didn't have a political program" or "Pox on both your houses!" or "I'm a moderate" or "I'm a Christian first" and you're done thinking. That may not be fair, but it's kind of true. And anyone else who even dares suggest that it's more complicated than that, or Heaven forbid, that you might want details, oh, well, you're obviously taking a human, feeble thing way too seriously. OK, sorry I asked. You know what, Christian Leader Guy? I want definitions of words; not everything ...

5 Thoughts For Today 5. A tie? In American football? Really? 4. Ah-HA, Cutler sucks. 3. Skyfall. 2. I mean, Cutler is bad. He's worse at playing quarterback than Obama is at being president. 1. If the principals in the NHL labor dispute can't reach an agreement, they can always console themselves that even while not working, they still suck less than Jay Cutler.

5 Thoughts For Today 5. Grace is like a reset button for the sojourning Christian who stumbles. 4. Arguably, Daniel Craig may be known as the best James Bond of all time. 3. I am surrounded by great friends, many more than I could hope for. 2. I like my politicians honest, actually conservative, and physically fit. (Let the reader understand.) 1. It's obvious that she was beaten senseless with the Beautiful Stick.

On the one hand, I'm neither a big believer in conspiracies, nor compelled to recklessly guess at the workings of God's providence, but let's review: --Polls suggest that the man who would be the first Mormon (AKA, Institutionalized Arianism) President of the United States leads by as much as 5 points less than 2 weeks before the election; --A monstrous hurricane COMES OUT OF NOWHERE to slam the eastern coastline, wreaking havoc, forcing the challenger off the campaign trail for a week, while the sitting president is seen by all, assisting the local authorities; --The Republican governor of New Jersey praises the sitting Democratic president for his assistance, after having spent the better part of 4 years ripping him to shreds; --Exit polls report that 42 percent of those who decided within the last week said the hurricane was a factor in how they voted; --The Democratic president wins a second term by narrow margins in the swing states. Like I said, I'm no...

Yesterday was completely shocking. The conservative press and most Republicans truly believed Romney would win. Barone is right about one thing: the political cultures are tightly sealed, and never really touch. That in itself is bad for the nation. There seems to be another Christian reaction to all this, mainly from evangelicals: that all this fussing is really idolatry, because isn't Jesus King anyway? It's a retreat. And the dirty little secret is that your hermeneutics do this to you. After all, where does the dissonance created by disunity go? There's a patch like on a spare tire on the ecclesiology as it is. To avoid the hard questions about dogma and the implications of an invisible "Church," there's a pretty high tolerance of theological agnosticism, beyond the barest creedal committments, and those are ad hoc . If those are fideistically derived, moral absolutes in a pluralistic public square is definitely a bridge too far. People who aren'...

Here on this momentous day of decision, I wanted to take a step back from the politics for a moment, and thank President Obama. Do you realize what America did four years ago? The same country that was digging in its heels to protect systemic discrination de jure against a whole group of its citizens-- the murders, violence, and exclusion that we've read about and many older than me lived through, inflicted on the American descendants of African slaves brought here against their wills--we have repudiated all of it, just by voting? Though the president himself is not precisely of this stock as the son of a Kenyan father, and a caucasian mother, he really did change the way we thought about all those painful chapters in our history. It by no means ended racism against anyone, but there is now a racial cynicism that will always be anachronistic in our country, by the very fact that Obama was elected. Malia and Sasha Obama really can dream as big as they want, and if one...

Sometimes, injustice is right at your feet. I can appreciate those who desire to help half a world away. We need that, too. But right here in America, good people suffer the indignity of false accusation. And our system doesn't guarantee anything; it leaves the most patriotic and optimistic Americans wondering what in the Mike Nifong is going on here. Mitt Romney and President Obama aren't even on my mind right now; I want my friend cleared; I want him back in his place, where he belongs. I admit, maybe I took him for granted. Though I told him before it all happened, "I'll miss you when you go away." I think the emotion of it surprised him. I hate when I get weirdly prophetic like that. Now, I just want to fight. The people who did this are lucky I don't know them. I'd never hurt them, but I would scream in their faces until they cried as much as we have. Lord, have mercy. I'll never laugh at another joke about these issues again. I know that mu...

A Pittance Of Grace, and the "Noltie Conundrum" After going to Confession for what seems like the gazillionth time in a very short period, I think I understand something about mercy today. Mercy is the love of God for sinners, in the simplest terms. He showed me how deep the love goes, in the person of His priest. Those of you who think Catholicism is some kind of performance treadmill are, I'm sad to say, insane. On the other hand, there are enough little details and devotional practices to keep door-to-door encyclopedia salesmen in business for centuries, if you put them in books and did that sort of thing. [This is the worst metaphor ever.--ed.] All that is to say, you can put yourself on the treadmill pretty easily. And I think I've been doing that recently. You get wound tighter than a drum, and a little proud, and you're asking for trouble. One never wants to sin to find out how much one really needs God, but it can happen that way. In any case, t...

Fine. Politically and ideologically, I have a viewpoint. It's a strong one. You can fool me (See "Obama, Barack, 2008") but my basic approach and opinions on matters haven't changed much in 10+ years. I will not sit here and tell you that I'm either moderate, or open-minded in a certain sense, because I'm not. But I can tell you for certain that I'm a patriot and an optimist. I've only had an active dislike for one candidate the entire time. [You forgot McCain.--ed.] Well, that's debatable. It's not like I'd have been upset if he won. In any case, while I might naturally be an optimist, I also consider myself optimistic in application of the biblical truth that Jesus is Universal President for All Time. This is just true. I do find it irritating that people who don't understand issues or the game of politics in America wade in to give this lecture to politically-engaged Christians, as if we've never heard this before. Firstly, i...

Happy All Souls. Or Solemn. Whatever it's supposed to be. I miss my Dad. I thought of him last night. The priest had told me to offer prayers for loved ones who need it. I just mentally prayed for him without a thought. On the one hand, I have no sure confidence that he arrived in the place of mercy that is Purgatory. At the same time, God's mercy is infinite, more than any of us know. So I prayed. And again, just now. If God's chosen ones still need sanctity, He doesn't hold out on them, even after death. I get that not everyone believes in Purgatory, but as an Actual Catholic, in fact, I do. Anyway, Dad. Every day, I realize how much I want to be him, in all the ways that are good. I definitely feel like my relationship with God is Dad's. If I can honor God even in the ballpark of what He deserves, then somehow, it will be said that the Kettinger name is a good one, and by the One who matters. My name--that is, my reputation--matters to me a lot. Though I su...

Happy All Saints Day! I can remember All Saints back at Christ Our King. Ol' TT always had some story of some old person who did something crazy. I wish Pastor LeCroy luck in getting the Catholic out of that congregation. And that reminds me to say, lest I be accused of sounding angry and self-impressed, how much I relished my time in that place, and in the PCA, until I made it Home. There are scads of wonderful people all over the place, and, well, if God knocks on your heart in that special way...don't say I didn't warn you. I didn't want to leave. That's a promise. I will readily admit that I have a low tolerance for BS and lies. And Reformed theology, specifically with respect to the question, "Why are we not Catholic?" is a house of cards. More like a house of poo. I also openly admit that I like to annoy people. I like to say things in such a way that gets you mad, and looking for answers. It's time somebody did. Anyone who actually knows m...

It's my second-least favorite holiday ever. No, not Halloween. Halloween is awesome. [Halloween Awesomeness Rant Omitted] Reformation Day. Especially since "holiday" means "holy day." Pshhh. The only thing holy about it are the holes in the theology, and the historical narrative that we're supposed to believe. Frankly, I can't believe it still passes muster among intellectuals anymore. Not to mention the whole, "Yay! We're celebrating the heroes who shattered Western Christendom into a million pieces!" Even if one is frankly dumb enough to believe a particular conclusion in contradistinction to the Catholic Church is the right one, the whole hermeneutical process ends in a cul-de-sac. Let me know when you figure that one out. But it's inevitable, really; the vital link between ecclesiastical authority and dogma has been eviscerated by the elevation of the primacy of individual interpretation. This is what all the fights in Protestan...

The Vegas Vacation     I left with my mother for Vegas on Friday the 26th at 4:05 AM. I had only slept for 2 hours, but it was the most refreshing two hours of sleep I ever had. We were obviously excited. This was a "bucket list" kind of thing: Garth Brooks, country legend and best-selling solo artist in US history, doing his final shows. He's all of 50 years old, and he was elected to the Country Music Hall of Fame. If you don't know this guy's music, you should. It's not only great music, a lot of it matters.   When we landed, it was discovered that a clamp holding the joystick of my power wheelchair in place had broken. Frankly, I couldn't drive it. But they got some tape, and they called a local vendor right away. As it turned out, he had it fixed in about 3 hours. By the time of the show, I was back in my own chair. But I want to tell you about the replacement.   It was, by any definition, a scooter. I amusedly thought to myself, "...