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Alright, we need to talk about sex. No, really. I'm one of those people with a physical disability, as I may have mentioned. Everything is pretty much the same, except that I need lots of help with everyday things. And I use a wheelchair. I'm pretty sure people are a little nervous about lots of things they want to ask. I don't really notice, well, until I do.

So let me be frank: there are plenty of things I can't do, but intercourse is not one of those things. If you are a beautiful woman, there is a 99.7% percent chance I will notice. I'm like every other guy on this planet. Sure, I'm a Catholic and a good one, so that changes the purpose and the manner by which I seek that companionship, but I do seek it. And I make no apologies for that. I don't really care if that makes you uncomfortable. You'd do the same thing if you were me. It might make you feel better if I were asexual and OK with that, but I'm not.

Catholicism adds another wrinkle for relatively young, single men who are passionate about their faith. What about the priesthood or religious life? We'll get to that. But I need you all to know that being disabled is not going to be an excuse to choose one vocation over the other; if God leads me in such a direction--I need to be absolutely clear about this--I will, like every other man, lay down the good of my sexuality and sexual expression for a greater good of the Kingdom. But I will not do it or even entertain it, again, to make you feel better, or because I'm afraid.

I'm sorry to everyone I've hurt by not loving myself enough to be open about this. To be perfectly honest, I blamed lots of people for the loneliness I felt, which might have been caused partially by the sinful fear of others. On the other hand, God has a plan. If he wanted me to be married right now, I would have been. If we get afraid, we can spiritualize a lot of BS, or blame women for any number of things, when what we're really saying is, "I'm wounded and scared, and I don't know how to handle it." That root of bitterness can destroy a lot of things. Again, I'm sorry.

But we all need to recognize that sex is not our goal, fellas. Our goal is Love. Spiritual and natural. In the end--and I mean the very end--it ends up the same. At the feet of Love Himself. Sex is an expression of love, but it isn't the only one. Tell you what, guys: You wanna stop abusing your bodies, and embracing a counterfeit sexuality that leaves you empty? Admit that you need love in as many forms as God permits. Stop acting like you don't care. You are not at the present time loved or known as you would like. And the truth is, you haven't loved well, yourself. But God is waiting to forgive you, and to lead you in a new way, if you are honest with Him and yourself. If you have a habit of pornography or acts related to it, go to the Sacrament of Reconciliation. If you foul it up again, go back. Rinse and repeat as necessary. Jesus loves YOU more than you do! Do you have any idea? Probably not. But it's never too late. I'm telling you. I know, more than you know. (And a special side-note to you Protestants: knock that whole thing off. The Protestantism, I mean. No wonder you can't stop sinning! I couldn't either, if I had only one sacrament! I digress.)

Comments

Good piece, but I have to ask: one sacrament? Who said anything about one? We have two and the Lutherans may have three...
Jason said…
Your eucharistic celebration is not valid, as I'm sure you know. Our friends the Lutherans cannot truly have the Sacrament of Reconciliation for the same reason.

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