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This Just In: Cold Pizza Rules

It was from Cecil Whittaker's, or "Cecil's," for short. Extra-large pepperoni and sausage. I always add a large chef salad; I eat the salad, and keep the pizza for later. [Didn't you just eat pizza with the guys?--ed.] Different restaurant. But yes. I am Johnny Pizza right now. We need to talk about this chef salad.

This thing is incredible. It's loaded down with ham and salami, so much that it's a slur against doctors and gardeners to call it a salad. It is a Man-Salad. With loads of cheese. I don't really like cheese, but it is necessary and welcome here. I really don't need pizza after this, but I eat a couple pieces to show a mystic solidarity with the person who made it for me.

Cold pizza is magical. As a person who appreciates what time does to cheese, I find an old pizza most pleasurable. Texture is much more vital than taste to me.

The only gripe you could have is cost. But then, no one eats pizza every night. Unless you are Johnny Pizza.

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