On the one hand, he actively dislikes and is confused by social expectations that others don’t seem to mind. His wealth and position insulate him from the repercussions of his social discomfort and people put off by his lack of conformity.
He is very blunt with his close friend Charles Bingley. Bingley definitely moves in social situations easily, and speaks positively about others, both by natural disposition, and by the mores of that culture.
In his interactions with Elizabeth Bennet, it’s not hard to imagine that Elizabeth views their interactions as “witty banter,” whilst an autistic Darcy views his replies as explaining her mistaken perceptions of his motivations thoroughly.
There are a lot of situations where Darcy clearly indicates that he feels he has to pretend, to “pass” when he clearly doesn’t understand why people expect him to do or to feel certain ways.
And if Darcy actually were autistic, he wouldn’t be bothered per se by negative perceptions about him, but he would say, “Here’s why you’re wrong about me” if pressed to explain.
Even his grave mistake in misperceiving Jane’s regard for Charles Bingley could be the result of difficulty in reading the emotions of others. He would go on to describe his interference in the matter as absurd and impertinent, but even there, he could be relying on direct feedback from Elizabeth. If she hadn’t told him directly that he’d been wrong, would he have known?
On the other hand, it could just be a story about a young guy who learns not to be so overbearing and proud when he meets a woman whose good opinion is worth the earning. The young woman learns that another man who comes across as kindly and engaging might just be a neurotypical who is in fact very bad, but knows how to play the game.
More for the “Darcy is an autistic person” theory: the whole story is driven by the distance between the perception of Darcy, versus who he actually is, via what he does. Elizabeth misjudges him, but so does everyone else who doesn’t know him.
Austen did not and could not have known about high-functioning autism, social anxiety, or anything else we might diagnose. But that makes the story even more interesting, viewed in this light.
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