Safe Haven

We were invaded by nuns today. Old ones. God love one nun in a wheelchair; she moved over so I could sit in my normal spot. Not that she knew that. This other nun told me her birthday was Sunday, and that she'd be 99. She was so happy to tell me that, as if she'd won the lottery. I found the perfect love. It was right there all the time. Father Details clearly knew the nuns, so he glad-handed the high-rollers for a few minutes. And then the caretakers asked if anyone had to use the bathroom, which of course, everyone did. I did, too. But this train wasn't moving very fast. It was hilarious. If you don't have the patience to be inconvenienced by an army of old nuns, start over. I hope they come back.

I don't feel up, I don't feel down, I'm just here. On the one hand, I feel this great desire to get closer to God. I heard this tour guide at the Cathedral asking for quiet, because we wouldn't to interrupt people while they were talking with their best friend, Jesus. Is Jesus my best friend? It's probably more right to say that he's done the most for me. I've had moments. Anything else I say is a half-truth. And yet, I could not hold back the desire for what the celebrant called, "joy without end." And the desire not to be left without a wedding garment. Indeed, it seems my life is marked by failure, or at least the fear of it. Yes, I know fear. Where is the perfect love that drives out fear?

Someone on my social media feed said that the alleged evidence for the Catholic Church being the Church Christ founded was "nonsense." I guess I can say in reply that if one refuses to admit the possibility, it's hardly news that one denies it. It got me thinking, though: What were the highlights of considering that possibility? I think the moment I realized that an invisible Church could only exist as a mental abstraction. And further that one wouldn't be able to hold any kind of center, if any person could define the universal Church and its dogmas any way they liked. Realizing that the New Covenant is supposed to be bigger and greater than the Old, so you're not going to get rid of sacrifice without calling the God of Abraham crazy. Realizing it's safer to be in the same Church with Augustine, instead of calling him a papist toadie. In the end, realizing that Jesus won't leave me, or lead me astray. Realizing this is still true, even if I or my brot...

It's a movie I just saw, about an aspiring singer in Dublin who befriends a girl, and they make a record together. [You were going to say, "make music together," beautiful music, but then people would think you meant sex.--ed.] They don't actually have sex, which is part of the intrigue. On the other hand, I don't want to laud this as some wonderful example of friendship, because he sure wanted to. [Then you've never have been a friend to any woman.--ed.] You know, you're a real pal. [I learn from the best.--ed.] On the one hand, I was glad she didn't betray her marriage vows to do what they both wanted to do. On the other, I could understand the guy's tension, and what he thinks is pure luck of the bad variety. The writer messes with you a little, because he puts in the woman's mouth some fairly unflattering statements about the husband, and whether her family would survive. It seems like what we might call an "emotional affair,"...

I am most sensitive that some of the recommendations in the liberal arts, if you will, go against the moral law. I am not overly upset by the mathematics, which is trying to teach inductive and deductive reasoning, among other things. We are obsessed with "practicality" and utility, and that is pathetic, on either side of the political spectrum. True knowledge is a good in itself, and should be sought. If a thing is also materially beneficial, so much the better. Yet our society has too many people who don't know what they don't know, and aren't too interested in finding out. Let the teachers teach. And if there is some moral or religious objection to something in the curriculum, let parents and teachers modify the curriculum as they see fit, together. We're not saying that word enough. Or we say it, and we don't mean it. We mean "together" as "the people who already think like I do." Anyway, I think I understand the purpose of Comm...

I'll be brief: Everything in National Review's "Against Trump" issue is undeniably true. It hasn't changed. The specter of Hillary Clinton doesn't somehow make it go away. He is not, as some would have it, a good candidate (or man) with flaws; he is a bad man, who adds willful ignorance to his witches' brew of racism, xenophobia, and resentment. Quite simply, he has no earthly idea what he's talking about, and he countenances, supports, or outright endorses the worst elements of the "alt-right." The man's biggest advocate in the conservative media is Ann Coulter. That tells me all I need to know. Namely, that maybe racism and paranoia were a bigger part of the "conservative movement" than passionate contrarians of good will were ready to face. "Judges" is the main argument that good people use to justify their vote for Trump. You know, I have been chasing the phantasm of overturning Roe my whole adult life. It won...

Longtime ESPN journalist and personality John Saunders is dead at the age of 61. He was good. Really good. He always seemed to be having a good time, and to be legitimately joyful. Appearances can always deceive, I suppose. In fact, I have to assume it was a suicide. If it were anything else, they'd say it, even if they had to say "apparent" first, pending an investigation. It may not have been. But when it is, we need to stop saying "passed away." A person who commits suicide doesn't "pass away". They violently took their own life. Whatever else we say about mental illness, and mitigating factors (especially as Catholics), we need to not surrender to a cultural tendency not to face the ugliness of this, and other things.  To take another example, an artist who dies from a drug addiction is not "gone too soon." In one sense, yes. Middle age or younger is not the ordinary time to die. But we should expect to die, if we are doing thing...

It seems to me that the real implied meaning of Newman's "To be deep in history..." statement is that there is theological significance to the visible ecclesial continuity of which the facts of history give ample testimony. A Protestant position is exactly the opposite: there is no theological significance to any visible ecclesial continuity, whether real or perceived. As appealing as that Protestant position may be on certain occasions, reflection surely indicates that if visible ecclesial continuity has no theological significance, then the exercise of authority to maintain orthodoxy in faith and morals ultimately is a fruitless undertaking, even in those Protestant communities. It is the revenge of a bad principle, applied consistently. "If I submit only when I agree, the one to whom I submit is me." In other words, there is no golden mean for the principle of individual interpretation; it will destroy the supposed authority of Willow Creek Community Church...

I got asked this today. I like this question, but I like it even more when cradle Catholics ask me. Why am I Catholic? Because it's true. . Readers of this blog, however, tend to be Christians, so they don't need to have the concept of divinely revealed truth explained. They do want to know how it can be known that the Catholic Church is the Church, and therefore, why refraining from joining it is a grave sin. To be as brief as I can, it is not reasonable to believe that the commonalities between various Christian communities--not their differences, mind you--can be explained without reference to the Catholic Church. Understand that differences are easy to explain. A guy says one thing, or a community says one thing, and someone else disagrees. Disagrees passionately enough to start over. It's happened often enough, the details aren't that important. But dogma is an important thing. Most of the time you see this word, it's someone mocking someone else's slav...

Miriam and Laura came over last night. (We call her "Mim") Mim and I got some Mexican Coke with real sugar, because Mim thought Laura would like it. Well, I know I do. They stayed for a short time, and I just goofed off for a while. I looked up, and it was midnight. I was drinking a Mexican Coke, and listening to Barry Manilow. I wanted to make a joke about it being a cry for help, but I was enjoying myself. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Ah, the tranquility of happy hearts!

I was going up to the Cathedral early. I felt like the wretch that I am, so I figured I'd go early, to perhaps receive Reconciliation. Now, I am fairly open about letting people touch me, if they feel encouraged, or they want to pray, or what have you. I've learned that being too much of an activist as a disabled person in terms of, "I'm not an inspiration, I'm just a normal guy!" closes me off from meaningful interactions with people. That's a discussion for another post. So this guy prayed for me a couple weeks ago on the street. He simply said, "God bless you" and I went on my way. He was colorfully dressed, but otherwise, I thought nothing of the encounter. I saw the same guy today. It started the same way, but it looked as though he had an idol in his hand. He started to say words in a language I didn't understand, and I zoomed away. It's been awhile since I've been that scared. Not of him, but of the demons prowling about. I...

And not because his radically pro-abortion agenda is right or good. Not because Democratic economic plans are great. Not because he makes great picks for the courts. In fact, there are scant few things he and I agree on at all. But to this very day, he is an indelible symbol of hope and possibility. Not just for black Americans, but for everyone. Raised by a single mom, with heavy-duty dad issues. He definitely took some wrong turns. He had some great opportunities, and almost botched them, but didn't. He faced enormous obstacles, and persevered. What a quintessentially American story, in all the right ways. He is the faithful husband of one wife, and the doting father of two brilliant daughters. This is no small thing, for a man whose own family was broken. And perhaps he hasn't made the right calls in foreign policy, but we're still here, and that's no small achievement, either. He might well be a narcissist, I don't know, but in light of his probable succes...

I don't play it. I don't have time for my normal amusements, so adding another seems foolish. At least  among people I know, people are having a good time and getting some exercise. A friend and I had a moment between him attempting an explanation of how the technology works, and I had an insight. "It is a giant spiritual metaphor." "Why do you say that?" "People wandering aimlessly, trying to grab imaginary things."

I walked alone to Mass today. Then again, I didn't. That's because it was almost as if I could feel Jesus with his hand on my shoulder. In some respects, it was a tough few days. Do you ever feel as though you need a vacation from yourself? I needed a long one. But the other day, I was talking to Jesus, and he reminded me that he loves me more than I do. You may fail to live up to your own idealized version of yourself, and a million times, at that. But this is the secret of life: Apart from me, you can do nothing. You might be one of those people who needs to break your days into smaller pieces. We get to thinking about, "I'm going to be a saint! I'll do this and that, and I'll be a leader" but the sheer enormity of the task soon overwhelms us, and then the enemy serves up our version of a T-bone steak, and we go right for it. I need Thee every hour. Every hour, O my Jesus! Amen. Meanwhile, enjoy this song by The Five Stairsteps, perhaps reflecti...

I definitely agree that much of his rhetoric was extreme, a bit Trump-like. I also think his foreign policy as articulated was dangerously naive. I think he vacillates between rage-monster, and a less-endearing Ned Flanders. To say that I didn't prefer him is a massive understatement. But I would have held my nose, and done it. In the end, with a smile. Because I know that on the issues social conservatives care about, Ted Cruz is with us. I wouldn't have to wonder if he's better than Hillary, because I know he is. Most of the time, there is great wisdom in falling in line after a spirited primary. Not this time. And good for Ted in not doing so. See you in four years, Senator Cruz. Hopefully in happier days.

I thought I would outline my way of thinking through political issues and engagement these days. I am by no means able to discourse dispassionately all the time, by any stretch. Yet as I have more fully embraced Catholic social doctrine, I have begun to observe that the process for arriving at a conclusion on any particular matter is more involved than a particular instance of political discussion--often more accurately characterized as combat--would lead us to believe. So, here is a sample of the kinds of questions I am now asking: What is the common good, and what aspects of the common good may be served (or not) by a proposed solution? Is a proposed solution to a problem intrinsically evil, that is, evil irrespective of circumstances, or good intentions? Are there other principles related to the common good or to the intrinsic dignity of the human person (e.g. justice, solidarity, subsidiarity, etc.) that I need to be aware of? Does a proposed solution seem to violate any of t...

I made some of you cringe. Good. You're now reading my blog, which was of course my plan all along. But I didn't intend to scare you with the alleged "spirit of Vatican II." No. I just want to tell you it was raining buckets on the way back from Mass today. And that's wonderful, of course. Though it is potentially far less wonderful in a wheelchair. A power wheelchair. I wouldn't expect any electrical danger, but of course the more significant risk is that the chair stops working. They plan for rain when building them, but still. My Quickie P-222 SE came through like a champ. Seriously though, if you're going to be a cripple caught in a downpour, get a Quickie. Pretty sure you can't buy my specific chair from the company anymore, but I'm sure the countless middlemen still carry it. Maybe you'll like this James Taylor classic instead.

You can't actually coherently say Christian ecclesiology, doctrine, and practice is wrong, and be a reformer. You can say it was never right. But no Protestant really wants to say that. So everyone in that position lives inconsistently on that point. That's why I'm Catholic. That's the reason. We wouldn't need to profess new dogmas, if the motivation was moral reform. It wasn't. Tim Dukeman, you need to read more.

I don't know much of anything about St. Bonaventure, if I'm being honest. I do have an aspiring religious friend who likes him, if for no other reason than to get away from St. Thomas! [He needs to know that there's no way a Doctor of the Church can be overrated.--ed.] I agree. We can always count on Father to say, "We gather to celebrate the life and the faith witness" of whomever it is. Even the priest's little quirks in speech like this become part of what you grow to expect. I think St. Bonaventure would be pleased that, weather permitting, we have made this same journey hundreds of times. Not that merely being present has any merit, but the hope that we will be moved by the glorious grace of Christ for some good end. We had been talking about grace having possibly come to a notorious mass murderer. We both agreed that we wanted to be the sorts of men who rejoice at stories like that. Easy to say, from a distance. And I had Sister Helen on my mind ...

Frankly, I always thought Jesus was crazy in saying this, at the risk of impiety. Surely having been tempted, he knows this isn't true, right? But consider that other Scripture, "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for thou art with me. " It is an impossible task, that virtue I haven't acquired. The idea of holding it together until the next Eucharist. We need to stop trying so hard. Who is Jesus? Do I want to know, and go where he goes, or do I have something else going on? It doesn't say, "I will fear no evil, because it's not that big of a deal." No one is saying that the valley of the shadow of death is a stroll on a spring day in Palo Alto. For you are with me. My Lord, the truth is, apart from you, I can do nothing. If you still want me with you, I'll go with you. Please stay with me.