Safe Haven

You're 64 today. I'll bet you thought those kind of ages were never reached, when you were a kid! Well, anyway. I am your proud and thankful oldest son. To be honest, some things we'd have been better not living through, or so it seems. Then again, who are we, to argue with God? I'm thankful for little things from you. I love books and words because of you. I pay attention--to a healthy extent--to what's going on in the world because of you. I'm sensitive and funny because of you. I could be wrong, of course, but I think that was you. You sacrificed all this time and energy so that we could have every advantage. You work as hard as anyone I have ever seen. And the thing I love most that you taught us is that enjoying life is about recognizing the moment, and being thankful. Honestly, this will sound a little weird, but I love that we are friends. I'll always be your son, but you also trust me with things that are important to you. That makes a son who ...

Apparently, my destiny in free moments is to scour among the stones with our friends at YouTube, listening to "Wait For Me" by Daryl Hall & John Oates in as many different versions as possible. Old Daryl, Young Daryl, Daryl With The Band, Just Daryl, '70s Daryl, Today Daryl, etc. It's probably my Official Favorite Song now. I sing it all the time. I guess there are worse obsessions. Dare I say, it means something to me now. I'm going to record this song, mark my words. Even if it's just friends goofing off, it's going to happen at some point. Provided, of course, the Lord doesn't call me home a bit early. "I'm not even a good singer!" I thought. And then I realize--having been a performer of a different kind many times--that talent is only part of the equation. Does the audience believe me? That's what matters the most. Daryl and John are the kind of guys that don't just write a song for the sport of it. There's some...

I didn't expect to be utterly taken apart. Certainly not by one sentence. And maybe I expected fireworks from arguably America's best living theologian, who also has a penchant for public vulgarity. Yet I didn't think the fireworks would go off inside me. Let me pause the story to tell you another one. One day, I went to a trivia night to benefit L'Arche, a Catholic community made up of "normals" and those with intellectual disabilities. Most often, it's Down Syndrome. Mr. Vanier (founder of L'Arche)--in plain, undramatic terms--wanted us all to see Jesus in each other, even if some of us are pushed to the margins. And so it goes. Anyway, I had a few odd interactions on the way into the trivia, and my friend says, "Sorry some folks treat you like you live at L'Arche." Now, without doubt, I am a proud man. I'm proud of my mind, my words, my degrees. But in a sudden attack of good sense, I said, "Who am I to think I'm bette...

I would be an executive, which means I would attempt to let the legislature be the legislature. You're not allowed to do this today. You're supposed to have legislative priorities and victories. When did this happen? I generally would want to administrate well, to keep my head down, and avoid embarrassing the people of my state. On the other hand, if you give me the power of commutation and clemency, I'll use it, and boldly. I take very seriously the idea that the last person who can show mercy in light of justice would be me. If I don't have a Board of Clemency and Pardons on board with my vision, I'll replace every single person until I do. I generally have a socially conservative vision, which doesn't mean I can't tolerate anything else, but it means that we don't have to make anything and everything normative. We don't change everything we've known, just to make some small group of people happy. Depending upon what it is, it might be ba...

"[X] is very damaging to the witness of the church." Put anything in there you like. It could either be true, or it might be false. I know what's even more damaging: not being in the Church. This is the thing that drives me crazy about a statement like this from an evangelical: the referent "church" is empty; the speaker knows what she means. Perhaps some of the hearers think they know. The reality, however, is that there is nothing visible to which "church" actually refers. At a practical level, imagine your exhaustion at having to answer for every single person who claims the name of Christ. Imagine believing that major questions of ethics--even dogma--were matters of liberty! And then, gentle reader, do you dare wonder why religious non-affiliation is on the rise? When people get tired of searching for truth, sometimes they give up. Frankly, without a way to know that any one thing is supernaturally revealed,--or a matter of morals connected to ...

I think that one of the things that happens when things are going well is that we become overconfident. No wonder there are so many "influencers" about! If you've got money, and something to say, a platform is nearly inevitable. In the end, it won't matter if what you say is true; someone will give you money and affirmation, even if you should be washing your own face, instead of telling people to wash theirs. I lost a certain clarity to my life, or at least the shape of what I thought it would be. I wasn't prepared for how invested I was in the certain shape of a dream. Maybe I'm trying to say that I've been an idolater, though it didn't seem that way at the time. It's easy to take joy in the pleasures of life when the blessings seem to rain down. You can talk a great game about understanding how fleeting it all is, too. How easy it is to even extol my alleged single-minded devotion to God! Then a true cross comes. True suffering that can...

My diagnosis of cerebral palsy (CP) is most accurately described as a condition. It's not a disease; it's not progressive, except in the most indirect of senses, if one fails to manage the results of the neuro-muscular adventures one gets to go on. I can have kids, and if we do, your kids will not be disabled, at least not because of my CP. I have the urge to say this publicly periodically. Some able-bodied people get to see CP up close, so they know. I don't feel like giving an overly-detailed description of CP. Look it up, if you want. Some instances of CP are more severe, and some are less so. Interesting tension exists, between wanting to be "normal," and knowing that you're not, in general, as people with disabilities. It's an interesting tendency in this society as well, to change all defect into mere difference. As we talk about inclusion and participation, what we face is not being able to define the ideal: from our bodies themselves, to soci...

I don't want to say too much, but Jesus is our brother. It's a new thing, when Jesus is no longer our fire insurance--though we never presume--and we are indeed family. Am I ready to accept that Jesus considers me His friend and brother? Do you remember the day a younger sibling was his or her own person, and not just the kid you have to keep safe? When warriors talk about brotherhood, it means, "I'd die for you, and you'd die for me." It's thicker than blood. It's the kind of love that men rarely speak of. We're rarely allowed to, these days. Jesus wants me with him. This is what he meant when he said, "I no longer call you servants, but friends." I will never outgrow my need for Him, but--mystery of mysteries--it is not foolish to console Him. He did not turn away St. Simon of Cyrene; it was not a show. He was consoled. And the holy women, they consoled Our Lord, too. If Jesus invites us to console Him, we are on the Way of the ...

"It almost makes you believe in the universe again. Almost." First of all, in context, I'm sure Washington Nationals pitcher Daniel Hudson is a great guy. (It's not his quote.) And of course he missed World Series Game 1 to be with his newborn daughter, because that's what a good father and husband does, if he can. Secondly, whatever personal problems players on the Houston Astros have, God is not punishing the team for those. I'd love to know one day the intimate workings of Providence, in regard to individual games and their outcomes, but as it appears from here, baseball just isn't that important, in the grand scheme of things. (Don't misunderstand me; if you're reading this, I love baseball more than you do.) Most importantly, what is so charming about some seemingly arbitrary, impersonal force? Admittedly, one sees or hears this a lot. I guess if we're tossed to and fro by impersonal forces, we're not accountable to anyone whose judg...

Grief wreaks havoc. I still have a rather ambiguous relationship to eating; I do it because I have to. I graze, rather than eating big meals. It will be nice to experience the enjoyment of eating again. I know I will. No pain lasts forever, especially not in the light of eternity. Then I feel guilty, because this grief is not in some objective sense the worst loss. I have an internet friend who could tell us all about loss and grief, and I defer to her. Yet when she says, "I will never be OK with this," that corresponds with something I understand, and it helps me. On the other hand, I need and want the freedom to say that I'm not OK, that I have been changed somehow by grief, that in these moments, the world does not look quite the same, and in some way, it never will again. The Lord retains the right to make something good out of bad, and in faith and hope, I expect Him to do it. But there's no rush here; if I want to cry, I'll cry, and I'll brook no d...

I. Various Sacrificial Offerings (1-7) II. The Ordination Of Aaron and His Sons (8-9) III. Clean and Unclean (10-15) IV. Day Of Atonement (16) V. Regulations, Holiness, and Feasts (17-27)

I. Moses and Israel in Egypt as Slaves (1-11) II. Passover, Exodus, and Sojourning (12-19) III. The Law and the Tabernacle (20-31) IV. Broken Covenant, Intercession, and Restoration (32-34) V. Building the Tabernacle, As The Lord Commanded Moses (35-40)

The Rosary gets all the good press among Western Catholics, and rightly so, probably. Our Lady has a funny way of appearing and telling us to pray it. Fair enough. For my devotion recently, the Memorare is becoming my favorite Marian prayer. I'm taking into account my situation, my strengths and weaknesses, and other things. We are told in Scripture to "pray unceasingly". St. (Mother) Teresa of Calcutta, along with St. Therese of Lisieux, teach us to do little things with great love. St. Jose Maria Escriva gave us a whole spirituality of divinizing the ordinary. God is not some ethereal ogre that I must placate and visit periodically; he's with me and for me, right here, and right now. By the mystery of His great love, he elevates you and me to sit in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus. I do not know your crosses, but I know that I am tempted with discouragement when the tasks of the day seem especially arduous. There is a time to grow in fortitude, and I'm...

I. The Primordial History (1-11) II. The Patriarchs (12-38) III. The Story Of Joseph (39-50)

I'll let Deneen and others make their case against classical liberalism, but suffice to say that a Catholic is on unsteady ground with anything that makes the individual the focal point of political action and concern. As we discussed various things after a conference on the future of liberalism, Dr. Cross helped me to see that liberalism's major flaw is that it imposes a regime of individual rights upon the family, community, and society which  already exist as goods before any attempt at political organization.  The idea of the common good cannot exist in any system that denies the common good, in principle, or in practice. This basic contention should be obvious, but it isn't. The basis for legitimate authority of government is the natural moral law. Liberalism fails because it purports to be neutral in regard to the moral law. It fails also because it treats the procedural questions of exercising one's liberty as the only consideration. It commoditizes moral cla...

I’m not sure when I watched the video in Bryan Cross’s giant climate change thread. It’s on YouTube as, “The American Denial Of Global Warming”. I’m not sure why I watched the whole thing. I was a contrarian and conservative, if anyone was. But I noted right away that Dr. Oreskes had no desire to be sensationalist or provocative. Just the facts, take it or leave it. It’s a rough overview of the consensus view of climate change. I knew I had plenty of reasons to deny it, if I wanted to be lazy, or to stick it to “the Left.” Then, this thought: These geeky scientists don’t care about my beefs with Democrats and communists. This is generations of their life’s work. They are experts, and I am not. To summarize the data, it’s been known that our consumption of fossil fuels was a major cause of climate change since the middle of the ‘60s. The IPCC was created as a clearinghouse for the data and studies. The government studied the data and issued a report in 1979, recommending urgent ...

I recently had a chance to participate in a fundraising gala for a pro-life organization I really believe in. Several friends and I really enjoyed it, were inspired, and gave what seemed right, as we were able. At the same time, you note I'm sure my disaffection with the current forms of even mainstream "conservative" ideology. I'll never be "the Left," as it were. There is no David Brock-like conversion coming. Yours truly might make a big change over the course of years or a decade, but I'm a writer and an extrovert; I'm gonna telegraph it, if so. I digress. The point being, personhood won't change. No sob story rooted in consequentialism would make even one abortion acceptable. No other heart-wrenching identity crisis makes any anti-human (thus, anti-Catholic) ideology tolerable. Yet I'm reminded of something Archbishop Sheen said, in paraphrase: If a person listens to the Church, he can believe dozens of foolish things besides, without ...

I can tell you this: It's pretty hard to get your hands on the eponymous major label debut from this band. But Darth Bezos can get you anything. The music isn't as old as I thought, but the original songs appear to have been composed between 1994-1997. I just had flashbacks to my early days as a Christian in the late '90's, and their music was resonating well into the early aughts. Sorrow and struggle, sin and wandering, changes the tenor of everything we hear from them. It still has that pretentious charm of a Serious Band Doing Serious And Real Jesus Songs. It's like they would wink and smile at the prospect of not being played on Christian radio. That's kind of the point. I have had some negative and probably uncharitable reactions to Derek Webb and some of his songs, but I'm still a fan. He's an intriguing vocalist, and has apparently never lacked for something to say. The political and cultural fault-lines being what they are, it's inevitabl...

At the risk of glib bitterness, I knew there was too much happiness the last couple of months. We know how this goes. There must be a holy way of waiting for the other shoe to drop. If you find it, let me know. I've taken joy in the cross before, so I'd have to suppose I will again. Not right now. It seems like a sick joke. Death is horrific, wrong, and sad, but there are definitely sorrows worse than death. When our loved ones die, most times, they don't mean to leave. Death is a thing that snatches us, sometimes without warning. This thing is different. What do you do when someone you love says, "I don't want to be close to you anymore"? There is no way to feel anything other than broken, or defective. We men, we want to fix it. What should I change? Did I somehow become a pale imitation of myself? It seems like what I have given is lost, never to return. This is where our heroic notions of giving without expecting anything in return seem to die. It'...

I’ve got another secret to share. I have to write it down, because I don’t know if I will get the chance to speak it in the place where it needs to be said. I think it’s applicable to all kinds of situations, and I hope you will agree. You had better sit down. I refuse to be responsible for managing another person’s emotions. Therefore, I make a conscious choice today to let go of the, “If only...” paralysis of the past couple of weeks. I was me. I authentically gave myself, and that’s all there is to do.