I'm a slow typer. There's a non-JK-is-an-idiot reason for this that you may or may not know. In any case, have you ever been on Facebook when someone posts a status update looking for information? Any reasonable person, even if he doesn't know anything, wants to be helpful. Truthfully, I do this more often than most people, because A) I know lots of stuff about lots of things, and B) I think I do even when I don't.
So there I was, plodding away at my response of middling importance, when suddenly definitive answers came flooding in. And I knew they were right. The most humble thing would be to push the Backspace key on my comment-in-waiting. [But this is you we're talking about.--ed.] Exactly. So I finished what I would have said, and added a humorous aside to the effect that there is no way I'm wasting this effort, no matter how pointless it is. Not to mention that it was The Deb's status, which makes the likelihood of a comment by me a near certainty. After all, no one appreciates self-effacing humorous asides quite like The Deb. [You two could write a book called, "Self-Effacing Humorous Asides For Every Occasion."--ed.] I know, right? We could do an Advanced Self-Deprecation Workbook! Oh, man! I'm getting way too many ideas here!
And another thing, people: When someone gets asked a direct question by someone else in the thread, this is not your time to be Johnny Interruptor, putting your even less relevant two cents in. This just adds annoyance to humiliation for the Slow Typer. Now he has to glance at the 37 comments between the one he saw, and his still not posted response. He's fervently hoping you haven't said anything stupid that will confuse the person with whom he is conversing, or inspired hordes of opinion-jockeys of questionable tact and intelligence.
This is the real reason they allowed us to tag people in posts and comments. It's not so we may be summoned from a faraway place by a pennywhistle and a Zelda cyber-tornado, although that is cool. It's to minimize the damage from stupid people. Think on that.
You never know. Yours truly might be slaving away at greatness, beaten to the punch by some flunkie with faster hands. Oh, well. There are always humorous asides.
So there I was, plodding away at my response of middling importance, when suddenly definitive answers came flooding in. And I knew they were right. The most humble thing would be to push the Backspace key on my comment-in-waiting. [But this is you we're talking about.--ed.] Exactly. So I finished what I would have said, and added a humorous aside to the effect that there is no way I'm wasting this effort, no matter how pointless it is. Not to mention that it was The Deb's status, which makes the likelihood of a comment by me a near certainty. After all, no one appreciates self-effacing humorous asides quite like The Deb. [You two could write a book called, "Self-Effacing Humorous Asides For Every Occasion."--ed.] I know, right? We could do an Advanced Self-Deprecation Workbook! Oh, man! I'm getting way too many ideas here!
And another thing, people: When someone gets asked a direct question by someone else in the thread, this is not your time to be Johnny Interruptor, putting your even less relevant two cents in. This just adds annoyance to humiliation for the Slow Typer. Now he has to glance at the 37 comments between the one he saw, and his still not posted response. He's fervently hoping you haven't said anything stupid that will confuse the person with whom he is conversing, or inspired hordes of opinion-jockeys of questionable tact and intelligence.
This is the real reason they allowed us to tag people in posts and comments. It's not so we may be summoned from a faraway place by a pennywhistle and a Zelda cyber-tornado, although that is cool. It's to minimize the damage from stupid people. Think on that.
You never know. Yours truly might be slaving away at greatness, beaten to the punch by some flunkie with faster hands. Oh, well. There are always humorous asides.
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