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Well, I'm A Feminist Today

Brothers, we need to talk about this. This is what lust is, gentlemen. It's not an innocent little habit, and it's not part of who we are, at least who we are meant to be. I've been guilty of it, lots of times. I get it. I really do understand. Women are beautiful. Most of them, in fact, are pleasing to the eyes. God made us to be drawn to each other as men and women. Sexual sin is about taking for yourself, instead of giving. It's very simple. I'm not going to lecture you, because I know.

I know what it's like to hate yourself somehow, to feel no control. But you want to feel powerful, like you matter. Maybe you're disconnected, like the world has forgotten you. And you want to take something, to have something, anything, that's yours. Believe me, I know this in a special way. So you take. Who will know? It's my mind, and my body. But it's a trap. We'll die. Maybe you're dying right now.

But I realized something in this battle: All I ever wanted was to love, and be loved. I don't really want to be selfish and bitter. God waits to restore us. He gives us His love in Christ no matter what. I'm saying it again: No matter what. That's something we can take and take; He's not stingy. And we will overflow, like it says in Psalm 23. When you live in God's love, you can give of yourself without losing. He shows us that we are special. We are precious. He has never forgotten us. He gave it all for you and me, that we could be His own righteousness, a little reflection of his own character. Do you need a bigger cause than that, fellas?

Remember what it says in Genesis? Adam and Eve were naked, and they were not ashamed. That's what we want: to be totally known, and totally loved. Of course we're sinners. But that same grace of God that leads us out of the darkness calls us into union with a woman in marriage. Or even greater, some other calling, where we have the privilege of knowing and learning the depths of God's love for the sake of others. Again, how's that for a quest? Are you feeling important yet?

After I read the post above, all I wanted to do was cry. I want to say that I'm so sorry for my sins, and all men, my sisters. Pray for us.

It's been really helpful to have friends who are women, even older women, or who are married. People you can feel safe with. They can encourage you, to affirm you without the pressure of sexual desire. They can help you to see that you have something to give. You are not dirt. You are not alone. The goal is to grow in love, in giving.

My sexuality is a gift. It is my most intimate gift of myself. I'm not supposed to give it to myself. It doesn't help, anyway. You probably know that, even if you are struggling to be convinced. You and I don't need "release," we need to give all of ourselves, and know that we have a safe place to be us. That's why sex is for marriage. What good is it, to give our whole selves, including our bodies, and not know whether this person will be there the next day? Isn't that much more frustrating than the sex urge? Well, it is to me. While I wait for what I assume is my vocation to marriage, I want to be a better self, so that when I give myself sexually to my wife, it will be just a part of a really special gift that is me.

By the way, I love to talk to the Blessed Mother about how much I appreciate women. Blessed is she among all women, remember? She understands all these things that draw us men to women. She has all those qualities to the utmost. That's what God's grace did for her, and now she shares! You're right, heathen, Catholic faith is terrible. [sarcasm]

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